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Diana Raab Poem
Yesterday I found myself slumped
into the saddest of trenches,
for no particular reason
other than a new moon cycle.
Instead of flopping myself
in my studio’s armchair to write,
I drove to the mall for an outing
probably more expensive than
what a therapist would charge
for an hour in his armchair.
I wandered into the shoe store—
something about leather
which grounds me, whether
the flimsy strapless heels
or the closed-toed pumps or walkers.
Already lugging two bags, I meander
into the lingerie store for silk
to accentuate my only remaining
middle-age curves, skipping over the thongs
and hesitating at the push-up section.
I try on four or five pairs of underwear
to accentuate my butt area,
the part of a woman which shares the
secret of her fitness, that I work on
each morning at seven.
I arrive at the boutique who sells my favorite
blouses, gather some more bags, walking out
with an almost terminal case of rope burn,
until I finally decide it’s time to head back to my car.
On my way I stop, smile, and realize
there’s no better way to fight trench warfare.
Copyright © Diana Raab | Year Posted 2006
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Diana Raab Poem
Sunday evening, suburban New York,
we ate at the corner Chinese restaurant,
its fish tank hypnotic, the smiling
welcome from the Chinese woman
caressing menus to her chest,
who led us to the booth which stuck
to my legs as I slid across to my
designated spot. Dad promised
me a fortune cookie on the way out,
which I took from the bowl by the door.
We ate spareribs, licked our fingers
and laughed, trying to pick kennels of rice
and long noodles with splintered
chopsticks. We praised the food,
but wondered why we often left hungry
for both food and fortune, after extracting
mine from the smashed cookie, reading then
putting the crumbled paper in my pocket,
to be found weeks later, hoping somehow
the words would have changed
and the little paper whispered
truths about my own future,
rather than just giving dad the
numbers for his weekly lottery.
Copyright © Diana Raab | Year Posted 2006
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Diana Raab Poem
At least once a month
the stench from my kitchen
sponge gets so bad I refuse
one more soap saturation
of this primitive sessile.
Why is it that I can’t toss
these replicas of marine life,
amongst the simplest animal form,
free of tissues, muscles, nerves
and internal organs? After all,
during the course of one day I toss out
all sorts of rubbish—paper towels,
chicken bones, cheese rind, empty cartons,
newspapers and rotten fruit, but have developed
a deep attachment with this soggy, smelly
two-dollar purchase. I take it into my hands
and scan it, as if looking for the spot
of defending stench or to hear the ocean
from where it came. Finally, I decide
to toss the thing into the dishwasher
with my daily load, to keep it vital
a little longer, perhaps a day or a week
or at least until I’m able to establish a degree
of separation from this rectangular block.
My only explanation for this drama
is my daughter is a vegetarian and animal rights’
activist, and like her, I want to save all creatures.
Copyright © Diana Raab | Year Posted 2006
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Diana Raab Poem
Stepping through its beaded door
was like walking into a time cloud,
whiffs of marijuana and hashish pipes
lined up by color in the cabinet
to the right, behind which stood
a hippie and his girl, with beads
and long hair, who lived in the VW van
parked in the rear, the one
splattered with colorful peace
signs like the psychedelic posters
on their store’s walls, glowing
under the hidden black light.
Nirvana was a safe haven,
offering a calm which transcended
my fifteen-year-old my psyche,
magnified by the freedom
to wander through without shoes
or purchase, unlike the neighboring stores
on Union Turnpike in the heart of Queens.
The place exuded the potent energy
of my love generation. I wish
there was a store like it here
in my new neighborhood, but I suppose
I’ll have to settle for the natural health
food store, which offers the same sort of claim.
Copyright © Diana Raab | Year Posted 2006
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Diana Raab Poem
When my body decided to get sick again,
six sinus infections since last birthday,
I marched into the best ENT specialist,
waiting room lined with Hollywood’s
finest stars begging for reasons why they
couldn’t reach the octave of the day before,
impatiently flipping through old magazines,
interrupted by cell phones ringing in unison.
I got the lead role, thanks for your inquiry,
want to go to Hawaii for the weekend? Susie
died. Funeral tomorrow. Allan’s away on business.
This doctor sucks. I have lunch with Ellen at noon.
Dad’s in the hospital. Freckles just had pups, want one?
My name is called. I shuffle behind the nurse,
my chart clasped to her chest like the baby
she might never have had, into the shoebox size room
packed with instruments I didn’t know,
despite three years of nursing school.
The suave, forty-something doctor,
released my X-rays from their sleeve,
and mounted them onto a screen.
He looked up through his sleek wire frames,
“You’re absolutely beautiful on the outside,
but a mess on the inside.” I wondered if
he was making a pass or soliciting
a surgical procedure and how many times
he repeated that line, loud enough for
the pedestrians five floors down to hear
this and the other truths about my battlefields—
three C-sections, knee surgery, twice a victim
of what strikes one in eight women, and reconstructed
organs of sensuality with tattoos to hide their truths.
Now I dodge doctors as one avoids the cones
at the scene of an accident, but I can’t dodge this one.
My voice is hoarse, my breathing is shot
and I envy those vacuous starlets in the
waiting room, listening to their chitter
chatter on cell phones. I sit in the exam room
before the surgeon tells me one more time,
something I need to do to hang onto my life,
but I’d rather be the person before the scalpel found me.
Copyright © Diana Raab | Year Posted 2006
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