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Jacki Murphy Poem
The scale starts to call and I cannot resist; constantly drawn to my biggest fear.
The painful number that I see, never leaves my mind.
Every day. Every minute. Every second. She never stops - this voice inside my head.
She speaks to me. She yells at me. So hurtful; the words that she says.
I will never be who she wants me to be.
"Don't eat that", she pleads. "Look in the mirror and you'll see."
"You're fat!" "You're pathetic!" "You're a failure!", she screams.
She makes me cry, as I fall to my knees - tears falling down, I will never succeed.
I'll never be good enough. She will never be pleased.
Complete perfection is what Ana seeks.
I am her slave, but she's good to me.
She gives me strength, yet makes me weak.
Ana tries to make me thin. She brings me hope. She's all I need.
And even if I tried to break free...her disease has already taken hold of me.
Copyright © Jacki Murphy | Year Posted 2020
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Jacki Murphy Poem
Inhale
Make a fist
Exhale
Release
Breathe
Hold it together
Make a fist
Release
Deeper breaths
The world is watching
You’re stronger than this
Don’t cry
They’ll see
Don’t break
They’ll judge
Keep it together
Fake a smile
Continue on
Inhale
Exhale
Copyright © Jacki Murphy | Year Posted 2018
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Jacki Murphy Poem
The abyss
….or at least that’s what it feels like sometimes – that seemingly bottomless pit – that void - that lives inside of us like a deep, dark, chasm of nothingness –emptiness. The darkness is lonely and makes it impossible to see – so you find yourself blindly wandering in search of what you need…anything to help you escape from the endless fog. The only problem is that you have absolutely no idea what it is that you need… what you need to feel whole – to escape from this hole…. My biggest fear is that there truly is no end – that the abyss lives deep within the soul…that we will spend our lives trying to find the end of it and wake up one day to finally realize that there never was an end to find.
Copyright © Jacki Murphy | Year Posted 2018
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