Turfing Poems | Examples

Aye Right

AYE RIGHT
Written 6 May 2008

So the guy 
In the Right Guard advert
Has "had a bad day"?

Excuse me if I don't
Shed any tears
On this jumped-up eejit's behalf

A dressing down from the boss
When his powerpoint presentation
Doesn't go down well?

Try drawing the Nat King 
With hungry kids to feed
A real living hell

A rogue tennis racquet
Sends a dummy's head spinning
In an embarrassing incident at the mall?

Try security guards 
Turfing your gin-soaked carcass
Out in the rain
When you try to kip in their hall

A key breaking in the door
So his night of passion
With a beautiful bird is put on hold?

Still much better than
A sherman over the Daily Star
And the worst imagineable paper cut
On one of the folds

I wonder how this idiot
Would deal with genuine grief
And despair?

He'd need more than 
A can of Right Guard
To stop the sweat from
Flooding everywhere