They make plenty of money, sure enough,
but you sure need them when times get tough -
halfway to the moon with a plumbing problem,
headline news couldn't be more solemn.
So, now whenever I sit on my tooter,
I send a prayer to Roto-Rooter.
With an ingenuine saccharine la-di-da
The hoity toity woman said “hi” to ma
A want to be royal, an aristocrat
stated poser, false Sheila name of Pat
My brother was smitten right away
He gave her his best times of day
Pat could have been a clock tower shooter
He did not see this at all, my brother Tooter
She is so refined and fashionable!
I thought a narcist too and really dull
She is so pretty and genteel
I did not think so, and here’s the deal…
I knew William, her ex, a wonderful man
She stole all his stuff except for a fan
At her sale she refused to sell to him
He was escorted out by her new friend Tim
Will’s dog was sad, she had him staked out mean
Putting on airs like a Victorian Queen
Pat married my brother Tooter of course
Arrived in a carriage with a rented horse
We may have lost him I said to my ma
Just like your daddy, she said, referring to Pa
For Pa had run away with a scoundrel too
She took all his money and possessions in ’82.
“LET'S ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM”!
Hey calm down now, people are still sleeping
Control your hooter
Calm down your tooter
But one thing it does, it cures oversleeping
Home:-
Home is a place where you can relax,
Print photocopy, and fax,
I love it because it is a place where you can be,
Staying up, not going to sleep, because, you had too much tea.
Sitting on the squishy sofa playing on the computer,
Placing yourself next to your brother, who is, a right tooter!
It is a place where you have breakfast, tea, and dinner,
But is also a place where you exercise ,and, get thinner.
Its rooms list full of living rooms, kitchens and studies,
Also a place where you bring your favourite buddies,
They come in all sizes big, or, very small,
Very short ,or sometimes, extremely tall.
It can range from small caravans to huge brick houses,
It may have a few pests such as a nasty rat, or, a few cheeky mouses,
Although it may be quite annoying and cramped ,
It is much better than last year when you camped,
Maybe not very much, but it is something,
It is home.
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