Short Pisses Poems

idk wat to say
she pisses me off
then makes my day...

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The Devil still plumbs the abysses
But girls know his serpent just hisses
If you really care
Let Eve tell you where
She pisses she misses French kisses!...

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Dick the dog dangles his balls for all to see.
I greet him on the way.
"How they hanging Dick?"
The question is rhetorical.
"Bark once if I smell immortal."
Dick pisses on my leg
while his owner speaks of Keats....

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HOW DARE YOU NOT CALL ME?!?
                            Have you gone insane?
                            Urgg!!! This PISSES ME OFF!!!
                         ... I just know.
           YOU WILL NEVER FORGET TO CALL ME AGAIN!!!! NEVER ...EVER....NEVER 
DAMNIT!!!...

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(Of a lottery winner on being asked
what his feelings were since
becoming an instant
millionaire.)

His answer was both aromatic
and precise.

“It reminds me of a deep
‘Profound Fart’ In that
it pisses everyone off,
yet the effect is pure
alleviation.”

© Harry J Horsman  1995...

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The first time you see yourself
You cry
Torn between bewilderment
Flattened by view

All white skin
Pink and spotty
The remnants
Of teenage residue

The hormones on overload
Insanity has come early
So easy to bite

Everyone pisses themselves laughing
When you remove your clothes
Now you never undress in the light...

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Two tom cats..
One white,one black.

The white one is may be deaf
But hisses and pisses 

to mark his territory.
He enters the black cat's flat

and attacks without warning.
Fur flying ,cats growling,

wet stuff on the flooring.
The remains are scars the 

claws and teeth tore.
We chide , separate them 

and suggest de sexing....
waterspraying's effective....

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It really pisses us off
You think we don’t know
We know more than you do
You were the last to be created
So, you are the real animals here
Destroying the world around you
And yet we let you remain here
But that will be coming to an end
We will make sure that you are gone
And that we are the ones left behind
Maybe then the planet can survive
As long as you are all gone

© Poem – I/XXIV/MMXXII...

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My poem was about innocent hearts
    not purloined, perfumed farts
  'Twas about forever lingering kisses
     not everlasting, beer-induced pisses

  Verses extoling glaciers' sheer grandeur
    no excretions of gooses or ganders
  Lines conjuring up treasured memories
    nothing about S&M or pederasty

  'Course, publishers rejected it out of hand
    ~ nothing to stimulate readers' trash glands...

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Some things so simple
I cant seem to handle
Like everything pisses me off
To beat someone 
And break their bones off
Its hard to hold it in
My inner beast wants to kill
Cuz I don’t have that void to fill
I hold against it
Too many long years my strong will
And I will hold it till
But damage
I want to make
Like I wanna kill
And make you late
I think this poem is damaged
I don’t even wanna manage...

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I'm gonna make me NEW again
I don't need your damn help
you keep helpin to makin me the old me
so don't even offer to help

For God's sakes, I will eat
I will dance
tell dirty jokes
pretty much do what I've been doin
that upsets you
and keeps me happy

It keeps others happy too
So.. there you go
I make people happy
just being me

That really pisses you off
I geuss
Cuz you're not me.
An Ass....

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Beauty with you I cry, 
with you I am not afraid to live or die.
I don’t resent your mystery, 
you are so perfect to me.
But the Creator pisses me off, 
makes me want to scream, 
“Come out come out wherever you are.”
Blind faith… for Christ sake, I want to see. 
Braille in spirit gets tiresome. 
Go away you Big Bully 
let me lay my head down 
in the lap of Beauty.
Whatever you do don’t bother me 
until you want to show me your face....

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Just one of those days,
Wrong in many ways,
Nothing goes right,
For anything I need, I have to fight.

Lawyer pisses me off,
Social services too,
The clinic gives me 16 perscriptions,
The pharmacy says, "Not for you!!"
On the phone all day
Makin' no headway,
I finally give up, and go to bed
Juggling curses inside my head

Somedays you're the windshield
Somedays you're the bug,
Seems like today,
I hit a clear wall,
My bug wings smashed
To the roadside I fall....

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