Short Nitrous Poems

Gaseous Escape

Just give me,
nitrous oxide.
so I can dream. 
said the Insomniac....

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Dentist Ben

Hampton had a dentist named Ben,
Inflowed nitrous gas to begin.
Just then his wife called.
Kept on talking that's all.
Life until paroled from the pen.

1/20/19


Limerick II Poetry Contest      Sponsor   Joseph May  NA...

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Swells of nitrous climbing walls, cirrus pennants slowly flag..
Cerise in the lining, richly glowing halls are leading
Onto stairs with eternally deep & steep stooping falls
magenta hued cotton surround me in fields on every side
I'm Floridian dreaming, under bearded trees with the river nearby....

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They have to knock me out
Before I feel comfortable
My hands have to be flopping like a dead fish
I have to look like a corpse with my mouth open wide
I have to be semi-conscious
They have to use nitrous to keep me in lah lah land
When I come out of the twilight zone there will be hell to pay
I hate the dentist, and he is not fond of me either....

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When I let one loose in the elevator,
    I blamed it on last night's baked beans.
    The blast from it sounded like thunder,
    As it tore a large hole in my jeans.

    I apologised to all and sundry,
    For acting like, a silly jackass.
    But my voice became rather squeaky,
    As my flatulence, was pure laughing gas.

    8 / 7 / 2021....

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A FOUL WIND
"it's a total farce when they want to tax your farts, I smell a foul wind"
Indiana Shaw . . . : /

Live stock farmers are taxed per head of each animal for their quoted of nitrous oxide, methane and carbon dioxide including chickens and poultry into the earth's atmosphere . . ....

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Sometimes he has to give himself a hit of nitrous 
oxide, when the most exciting thing in his 
day is when a second set of incisors 
appears behind the first set, 
but then he can only refer 
the patient's parents to 
the orthodontist, who 
makes real money,
although the
referral fee
helps.

Still he can’t help wondering if 
implants could have helped 
Chet Baker’s embouchure....

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Pretty soon
It will be pretty June
The city comes alive
With blooming blasting tunes
Gangster goons
And their lovely lady loons
Stirring violence 
Under the lunatic summer moon
Downtown pedestrian platoons
Hitting the nightclub saloons
Backrooms and thick exotic perfume
I can see everything
Without even leaving my room
In the evening clouded by medicinal fumes 
Hop skipping across giant
Floating nitrous oxide balloons...

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