Short Mansfield Poems

Are you perturbed by memories
of things that went awry?
Regret, and mere ephemeries -
should we not put them by?

I’m often plagued by mammaries
(think Mansfield, think Monroe):
the author’s quick to clamour he’s
not odd at all: oh, no!

We mustn’t turn to plagiarism –
no Caulfield, then: no Catcher.
But could there have been Majorism
if there had been no Thatcher?



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An only child, actress, singer, nightclub entertainer
Jayne Mansfield.
Her movie Too Hot to Handle made sense to the people who knew her.
A tomato, lightning, a bonfire, married and divorce numerous times.
She loved her five children and kept her Playboy playmate figure.
Dying in a car crash in New Orleans at the young age of thirty-four.
She lived as if she knew she was running out of time....

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Is this tree beautiful or what?
Her grandson did not see a tree.
All he saw was Jane Mansfield.

So she showed the picture to her son.
He did not see a tree either.
“Howard,” she said to her husband, “point out the tree.”
He asked her, “what tree?”

In desperation she turned to her ten-year-old grandson.
Timmy, can you show these men where the tree is?
"Is that what you call them now?" Timmy asked....

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Jayne in a Man’s Field

I wrote on a Porsche “Take the Jayne Train”
How long in the mess hall would she remain
She came out and saw
She smiled, I said duh
Took a photo with her less my brain

Name Dropper Limerick Contest
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw September 19, 2017

*I actually took a photo with Jayne Mansfield
at an airbase in Holland when she was doing a touring promotion back in ’58. Lovely lady!...

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