Short Doctorate Poems

We invest in the future,
                  for collage expertise,
                   promise moon and stars
                   for a degree...
                   To hang it on the wall......

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“Oh doctor, doctor
You must help me
I have been afflicted
Most horribly
I keep quoting
William Topaz McGonagall”
The doc replied
“We can’t help you at all”
“Oh doctor why
Cant you treat me for it”?
He replied 
“Because this is the Burns unit”...

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Aching OA and RSI.
(not to mention RSSI,
an understudy in CTE)
The ever dependable SAD.
Add the ADD to the PTSD,
the monthly dose of PMS
and the occasional case of RLS.
Not to be forgotten 
is the Great TBI.
Yes!
Working on a Doctorate of Life I am....

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I lust for knowledge,
My day will come,
Bachelors,
Masters,
PhD maybe,
My day will come,
I believe it,
No faith placed in me,
But from me indeed,
My strength is my rock,
I will follow through,
The language of life,
I know it well,
It is my spell,
You will understand,
The day I receive that third diploma,
My doctorate in English Literature,
That will be the day of true destiny....

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Wingless Bird

I wasn’t taught
Reach for the stars
I never knew
It’s not too far

I knew to stop
Look both ways
And never touch
A burning flame

Encouragement
Was never heard
I left the nest
A wingless bird

Survival was 
My only school
Doctorate in hit
And bachelors in booze

I left the nest 
A wounded bird
Then found my wings
In written words

Bill MacEachern 11/28/23...

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Doctor Phil
By Franklin Price
2/2/2019

Punxutawney Phil came from the hill
And looked down on the ground
He looked in all directions
Not a shadow there was found

Has an honorary doctorate
Shadow spotting his degree
Because there was not one today
An early Spring for you and me

All the networks covered him
They think he's in the know
If Spring arrives in six weeks
Doctor Phil will get a show...

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Got my doctorate
In sandbox
With a double major in
Nose picking

Graduated “magna-cum lousy”
From the “driveway art course”
Served an apprenticeship in
“It’s your dog pick up after it”

Rose to great heights tree climbing
Also got to meet the firemen
Taught my parakeet
To BOO those F-N Yankees

Rooted for the RED SOX
A true love/hate relationship
I understand Bill Belichick
But not what he says...

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Yours was the crown of the Synagogue
after you converted to Catholicism
for living Christianity
is the fulfillment of the promise.

Christianity presupposes the Synagogue
and a vision of Jesus you had
opened your mind and your heart.
Yours was the wisdom and smartness

as you became the doctorate professor of philosophy -
Chief rabbi, for you Synagogue, 
which was the promise
and Christianity cannot exist without the other....

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That big, elusive doctorate degree,
pretty much like an emperor's decree;

         a kind of fetish that academes require,
         sort of survival kit one must acquire;


within the realm of the university,
part of the myth of tenured security;


         its twin is the rule: "publish or perish,"
         a choice most faculty hate to cherish;

and yet they churn out books with little rest,
paperwork enough to clear a rain forest!...

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