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Stagnancy
Stagnancy is an illusion, that I've been choosing.
Barriers of the mind, are the worst kind.
Trapped in the pain, escape is hard to gain.
Drowning in sorrow, makes it hard to see tomorrow.
It feels like I've been walking with a blindfold.
With nothing to hold, my freedom sold.
Stuck in the cycle of lack, my dreams I pack.
Put them at bay, keep them away.
For that someday.
That never comes...
Because I'm stuck in the cycle of living off crumbs.
Crumbs...Crumbs of happiness.
When will I win in this?
Universe why cant I be free?
Can someone, something, anything save me?
I can't breathe!
I'm tired.
What is required?
I'm just tryna be freed.
What is this greed?
Deep down I know 'I am all I need'
Is it my 'not enough' that brings this despair?
Am I the cause of this pain I cannot bear?
Lost in fear.
Has made my mind unclear.
I don't want to shed another tear.
But I cry. I get high to get by. Always asking why? I can't see the sky.
But now I see it's just a lie.
When you focus on the darkness of course you can't see.
As much as you plea, you can never just 'be'
Whilst I've been focusing on what I haven't got.
The goodness around me has seemed to rot.
I'm starting to see the cycle.
Listen.. this is vital.
The more I focus on the pain.
The less ease I gain.
The more hateful.
The less there is to be grateful.
The more unworthy I feel.
The less the things I deserve reveal.
So what does this mean?
What have I seen?
So if this stagnancy has been a illusion.
Best believe I'm refusin'.
It's all about perspective.
Remembering the objective.
Thoughts selective.
Now this is affective .
This is my declaration.
This is my confirmation.
I choose to feel good.
The way that I should.
I choose to leave my mental prison.
But instead focus on how I have risen.
I choose to let go.
So that I can grow.
Now I know that it won't all be easy.
I snap my finger and then everything is breezy.
There may be times the old thoughts come up.
But unlike before I won't hold on, i'll let them drop.
I'm dedicated to my peace.
I'm dedicated to my release.
I'm dedicated for the constant struggle to cease.
I'm in this for the long run.
The next chapter for me has begun.
Copyright ©
Crystal Hendrickson
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