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No Toilets In The Sky - 2025 - slightly gross
Santa’s doing Tinkles as he travels on his way
Sprinkling golden showers ’cross the moonlit sky today
He has no private place to pee which fills him with dismay
For there’s no public toilets... in the Milky Way
Santa’s got his legs crossed cos he’s been out on the beer
His guts are throwing tantrums and he wishes home was near
He knows he’s gonna poop his pants that fact is fairly clear
For there’s no public toilets... in the upper atmosphere
He needs to go
He needs to pray
No toilets in the sky
Santa hits some turbulence and says a little prayer
He needs to poop and piddle but there’s nowhere private there
He’s sure he gonna throw up and become a vomit sprayer
For there’s no public toilets... in the ozone layer
Santa’s gonna poop himself, how will he show his face
Public humiliation, and permanent disgrace
He can’t hold on much longer, though he needs a private place
For there’s no public toilets... on the edge of space
He needs to go
He needs to pray
No toilets in the sky
Santa belched and burped and then his tummy grumbled loud
His fart was wet but silent, he was glad because he’s proud
Santa’s really trying not to throw up over crowds
For there’s no public toilets... high above the clouds
Santa’s doubled up, good job the reindeer know the way
He’s squirting out of every orifice a putrid spray
All kinds of hell are raining down on Earth this Christmas Day
For there’s no public toilets... in the Milky Way
He needs to go
He needs to pray
No toilets in the sky
No toilets in the sky
No toilets in the sky
Copyright ©
Terry Flood
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