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Who Is Jack Schitt

WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

The lineage is finally revealed.
Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says,
"You don't know Jack Schitt."
Now you can intellectually handle the situation.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple had 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
After 15yrs. of marriage, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. 
Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and because her kids were living with them she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.
Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt who were inseparable throughout childhood subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were: Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world and recently returned home from Italy with his new Italian  bride, Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." , you can correct them because you most certainly do.

FAMILY HISTORY RECORDED BY CROCK O. SCHITT INC.

Copyright © Judy Ball

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