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Adolescent infatuations never consummated

Adolescent infatuations...never consummated

Greetings reader from a cross between an aging seventy inch long (ringing ding dong) haired pencil necked geek and a Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe; meaning yours truly actually a virtually married Pennsylvania man, who crossed his sixty fifth year young threshold on January thirteenth 2024, nevertheless despite rancor from the missus who frowns on me favoring female for acquaintanceship/friendship ideally while taking a ride On The Good Ship Lollipop.

if nothing else germinated 
adult language affections
inexplicable tummy why 
(approximately three quarters 
of my lxiv roy hull orbits ago), 
I can still vividly recall 
names of girls from mud 
trickle hull hating as a Methacton 
High School graduate, 
plus the two semesters completed 
at Montgomery County Community College, 
which diploma worth less than 
the paper certifying completion 
of requisite credits. 

Unbeknownst tummy if 
(Susan Bishop, Cheryl Hahn, 
Judy Jacobs, Donna Keckley, 
Fay Landis, Sandra Ray, 
Julia Ward, and a handful of others) 
gleaned any hint that an intense desire 
shutter flying within thy solar plexus 
to blurt (in a bumbling fashion) 
even a feeble hello 
dogged each day of classes. 

Nothing about this then 
awkward, blimey clammy, dorky, 
edgy, friggin gawky, horny, ipsy, 
jumpy, kooky, loony, moody, nerdy, 
okay, plenti quirky, ratty, sulky, 
timidly undersized very withdrawn, 
xpn yankee Zeusian.

If familiar during my prime numbered days, 
with either powder milk biscuits 
(which according to Garrison Keillor - 
gives shy people the courage 
to get up and do dirty deeds 
done dirt cheap (in honor 
of the late Malcolm Young, 
the pulse of AC/DC), 
or raw bits, and additionally 
adroit crafting, expostulating 
gross iniquities keeping maidens 
overly questing regarding taming 
uber vibrant willy wonka 
your all time cerebrally enlightened, 
guy initially kindling manifold 
oppressed quaking sexual undulations 
wracking yawping aspiring 
corpus dictionary epicurean. 

Yes, that tis quite a mouthful, 
but then this ardent devotee, gamboling 
jousting literary nonsensical 
philosophical reader, tenderly tinder 
verizon wormy yakking arboreal 
cloven earmarked, graciously intelligent 
kibitzer, modest opportunistic 
questioning statecraft, 
unpretentiously warbling bupkis.

Though verb boss this poet manque 
doth strive tubby re: noun, 
or at the least beak comb knighted 
among his majesty (HMS) – 
cutting (thru the figurative iceberg) crew, 
which pronoun smint foments 
hostile interjections, whereby 
grievance addressed by my 
reciting constituent articles comprising 
English Language. 

As a result of assiduous, copious, exodus, 
grammar grappling, inchoate knowledge, 
mastery of quirky syntax 
underscored unpretentious 
versatility with words. 

Adverb beal concupiscence endowment 
grows ineluctable kickstarting 
my obvious quest shunned unfairly 
without your adjective choice 
entirely granted. 

Infinitives key mordant obscures 
quasi rhetorician traversing ultimate 
vernacular wordsmith zeroing 
at becoming catapulted 
damn eminently fructified.

Caterwauling causes 
champion colleague Collins collision, 
collusion, conjunction conspiracy, 
demanding expulsion, forthwith 
groupie Harris insinuating, juxtaposing, 
keeping lowest mediocrity necessitating 
one principle question. 

Reddit slated tenure unified vicars, 
wherein xfinity yielded zing along.

Copyright © Matthew Harris

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