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The sacrifice of drowning so others could be saved

Empty, that's all she felt 
She hated the numbness that would blindly attack
She did so much for others 
But she couldn't help herself 

She carried the weight of being black
Where racism would slowly break her back
She couldn't even go to a hospital they'd probably throw her out 
Calling her 'dramatic'
Saying she should go somewhere else
This is what would happen if a black girl dared to ask for help 

They would shove hatred down her throat 
Until It got so bad that she would throw it up
She would come to realise that the bitter taste that was left was trauma in her mouth 
Maybe it's the reason why she had the urge to rip her insides out

The pain she lived each day
And the numbness she was left with at night
Was a constant battle that her and her people had to fight
All she ever wanted out of life 
Was to help her people so she would write
Poems that spoke of the unspeakable 
She knew it was risky, but she would be the light 
A guide so they could have a better life
She wanted freedom for all her people 
She would do anything to make sure they were treated equal
So she would make sure she held the system accountable
She knew it was impossible for anyone to stop her 
Even if it meant pointing out each and every individual 
That participated in an act so evil

She would bear the weight of the consequences 
Of carrying what the world threw at her people 
She would forever be her people's protector
Even if it meant it would kill her
She knew the toll of her surrender
Even if it Consumed every part of her 
She knew the risks were worth it 
Even if she drowned in the emptiness

Copyright © Layla Riley-Hill

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things