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per biology:

am i alive?
what classifies something as alive?

    respiration
i am breathing
but just barely
trying to capture any air i can between sobs
    growth
i am growing 
it becomes increasingly difficult 
recognizing myself in the mirror every day
and believing the next age i'm turning 
    excretion
i am excreting 
i sweat when i do pretty much anything
even though i'm always cold
is there something wrong with me?
or am i just overthinking again?
    reproduction
i am not reproducing 
i can
but i'm not sure i want to 
i wouldn't be a good mom
i'm worried i'd be too much like my own
    metabolism
i am metabolizing 
i always claimed it to be fast but maybe
it's since it doesn't have much to work with
    movement 
i am moving 
my body does it without me knowing
or being conscious 
it just moves
    response to stimuli
i am responding
i respond too much 
too dramatically 
too sensitively 

i fit all the criteria 
so i guess i am alive 
i'm just not living

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