On Cottingham Green
Have you got a light he asked
Breathing whisky fumes in my face
The hand rolled ciggie in his mouth
Miraculously staying in it’s place
As he lifted the bottle
Up to his lips
Then returned it to its carrier bag
After one or two sips.
He said he was owed thousands
From a PPI claim
The money was there somewhere
Waiting in his name.
If they got a move on
And didn’t pay it too late
He was going to buy a caravan
And drink whisky by the crate.
We sat there enjoying
The early spring sun
The he mounted his byke
And was off at a run
The bottle in its bag dangling
From the byke handle bars
As he shot across the street
Narrowly missing two cars.
I watched him ride down the road,
Through a red traffic light,
And then he turned the corner
And was gone from my sight.
I’d been feeling desolate after
Visiting the grave of my wife
But after chatting with him
Felt I was coming back to life
On Cottingham Green.
Categories:
ppi, life, people,
Form: Rhyme
Cold Calling
Who's calling, please? ...
But I'm certain I've never had PPI,
That's final, no matter how hard you try.
Who's calling, please? ...
I won't be paying you any amount
Or putting my money in a new account.
You want to know my bank details right now?
Which tells me that this is a fraud anyhow.
Who's calling, please? ...
I really don't want to do your Survey,
Not today, tomorrow nor any day.
I'm positive that I've not won a prize,
I don't do raffles so what a surprise!
It's part of a con to steal our money
Which is very cruel and not at all funny.
If you're sick of all this day after day,
Then buy a new 'phone with Caller Display.
With Caller ID, you'll soon become wise
And just answer calls that you recognise.
Cold Callers never behave as they should,
Be warned! It's because they're up to no good.
Categories:
ppi, anxiety, bullying, money,
Form: Rhyme