Long Foo Poems

(Created using the bAbBlE sentence generator, various text excerpts, and a minuscule bit of human editing.) 

And she smells good without keeping all ...

Beef, sitting lonely on that lies floating on the tufted floor. "Surely,"...

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Unidentified extraterrestrial(s) willingly abducted me

As a divergence 
from the apocalyptical, dialectical, 
geomorphological, judgmatical, 
metaphorical, philosophical...,
I share an out of this 
(webbed wide) world,
light hearted anecdote 
ye may find far fetched.

Believe me you,
an unspecified number of...

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Increase In Head Size

impossible mission to encapsulate notion 
flitting hither and yon, to and fro
within cranium attached to mine body,
whereby irrefutable proof prevails
predicated when yours truly
scrutinizes other people visibly aware,
I a modest married male 
blessed,...

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January 13th 2024 - Happy Lxv-th birthday Matthew Scott Harris

date of conception:?  ~ Late March – mid April 1958.
date of parturition: January xiii, mcmlix.
date of expiration:? January i, eminem, 
where earth, wind, and fire...

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Come post presidential election 2024... 

heil to the Wharton chief firebrand -
more worrisome than an ovarian cyst
every race, religion, nationality, 
gender, creed, et cetera with impunity dissed
brigand able, eager, ready and willing
to punch contenders throwing...

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Au revoir oh perilous freedom...

Since pledging my troth
to the missus July 25th, 1996
after the comma error
punctuated mein kampf with disequilibrium.

Ever since the notions
of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
coalesced within the mindscape
attributed to one
or more...

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Happy Lxiv birthday Matthew Scott Harris

date of conception:?  ~ Late March – mid April 1958.
date of parturition: January xiii, mcmlix.
date of expiration:? January i, eminem.

A gangly, measly, and scraggly bundle
of lovely bones even as...

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Font Din Black

so u real??? 
Warning! The following choppy, batty, 
dopey: elegy = flaky, goofy, history: iffy, 
jumpy, kooky: loopy, matty, nappy, nippy, 
sketchy material prone to find the reader 
dazed and bewildered, yet comfortably...

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Impossible mission to sleep on opposite side of marital bed...

Oddly enough even 
when frolicking in the autumn mist
with seasoned super tramping 
cheaply tricked out goo goo dolls
some resembling Indigo Girls,
one foo fighting beastie boy
unable to...

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Self help addict needles unsuspecting reader 

Expounded late today April 27th, 2023
since being written
countless years ago
maybe a baker's dozen
as thee doodling cock doth crow 
scouting about for carrion 
scavenging for dead animals 
and rooting about...

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Richard Mcgeehan Poem

Poetic license I employ
to match inventive
wisdom and witticism
regarding (brother in law of mine 
husband of eldest sister of same)
interspersing, initiating, incorporating
fabrication whenever possible,
and only the subject himself
can discern fact from fiction
and get a...

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Norwegian bachelor farmer days I never lived

Woebegone and egg foo young on you
meaning me of course
sidestepping a crucial positive
electric kool aid battery acid test
prior to pledging troth,
and tying Gordian knot
to strangulation point,
never fending for myself,
nor...

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Fretfully aching to feel fit as a fiddle

After experiencing a severe,
albeit violent near lethal bout
of irritable bowel syndrome
(yesterday night August 30th, 2023)
triggered courtesy dulcolax caplets plus 
healthy portion of lentils,
I (a beatle browed, foo fighting,...

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Isis staind 26+ years of marriage

Yes, believe me you, 
I (also considered the best karaoke singer
for the go-go's) 
putting Shabrina Leonita to shame
back in two thousand and twenty one
once flew high as the eagles 
a...

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Beddie bye boo ski time for yours truly and/or the missus

Found us abed thee twelfth day
of December, cuz yours truly 
still felt dehydration, physical 
fatigue and soreness,
which possibly linkedin
to using stationary bicycle.

Our bed (mine and...

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Existentialism emancipation proclamation manumission...

Flourishes amidst freedom 
once invisible (alice in) chains shucked
when soul no longer kept linkedin 
to jane's addiction 
with corporeal duty, entity, fealty... 
while formerly shed body electric 
gendered as former googly eyed...

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Vexation at self - regarding avoidable altercation...

Today May 12th, 2021
at Royersford (Pennsylvania) LIDL,
when spouse stepped into checkout line
(minus her horse drawn grocery cart -
pushed courtesy yours truly).

While passively standing stock still
I (think Stonewall Jackson)
let scenario...

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While daydreaming about timepiece inventors...
as the figurative curtain closes on 2022

How arbitrary the assignment
of seconds, minutes, hours,
days, months, years...
to the passage of time,
and I would be hard pressed
to differentiate one moment
from the next without the...

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Booth made famous on April 15th, MDCCCLXV... 
Sic semper tyrannis ad mortem
("Thus always I bring death to tyrants").

Ever since early forerunners 
of twenty first century
mankind (sprinted 
across trackless expanse extant
upon planet Earth), 
modern Homo Sapiens...

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Ink roached infestation didst derive within mice elf

Minor emendations to following
just posted verse
oversight to correct dissatisfaction,
yours truly I do curse
ah... methinks if hands of time 
can be made to go in reverse
a more exemplary version
to...

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Strong suspicion a 2024 presidential win...

for the trumpeting don
spells loss for democracy
after inauguration day
witnesses his swearing-in
nepotism will run rampant
lawlessness the name of the game
of thrones breaking apart ramparts
of inalienable rightful
freedoms rent sunder, whereby nothin
can stop...

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Folk purchase this celeb’s new candle
 It’s something my brain cannot handle
 ‘Smells like my v’gina’ 
Could give folk angina
 This fragrance has caused quite a scandal 

Inspired by a comment from a fancy friend...

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Isis staind 27+ years...

of scorpion stinging poison us marriage,
whereby the missus and I,
nevertheless experienced genesis as 
mama and papa respectively.

(jest kibitizing)

thus explaining why I 
(a beatle browed  
sixty five year young adult) 
joined blue...

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Gott, oh mächtig, Trump iz on the warpath again!

Glad for birth write to express views
aware cunning linguists 
will apply figurative screws  
in an effort at blatant mud slinging ruse
exercised courtesy mail in ballots, 
or...

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Future time traveler looks back one century ago

The following poem tweaked 
courtesy original author who crafted
literary endeavor some couple years ago.

Now circa August 20th, 2122, 
or 1930 military time,
yours truly attempted 
drafting id est feeble...

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