Long Exercise bike Poems

I walk into the AYA studio, apprehensive as I have never taken a dance class.
"Come on it!" Suzette, our dance master says. On the wall behind her there is a giant Moose wearing a pink...

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The Yard Sale 

By Elton Camp

We must admit, to our disgrace
Have run out of storage space

We cannot understand just why
Things we don’t need multiply

There’s clothes from when I was trim
Fear I’ll never again be quite...

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I see ya got sum papers today 
We could smoke a li'l sum, on da way 
You ever been wit a black gurl or r'ya gay? 
Well I know a few, that'll suck for a...

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Frustrated.
Slowed down.
Cramped.
Angry.
Rehab was slow going.

One tiny mistake.
And she could not walk.
For two months now.
So angry at self and leg.

One bad fall.
Bruised bone.
Torn meniscus.
Torn ACL.
Frustration level high.

Exercises were boring.
Bicycle hard at first.
A bit easier later,
but boring.

Mark,...

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My Bike exercise Ride

I have a bike , that stand still 
No matter how much I peddle
But when Im riding this bike ,
I'm off in a dream a yonder 

Im off to all the places...

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Supposedly the ideal woman's measurements

Used to be 36-32-36

That's no longer reality which the fashion industry

Is finally starting to acknowledge

We're starting to see ads with a little heavier models

Because a recent study showed

That 63% of Americans...

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The supposedly ideal woman's measurements

Used to be 36-32-36

That's no longer reality which the fashion industry

It's finally starting to acknowledge

We're seeing ads with slightly heavier models

Because a recent study showed

That 63% of North Americans are overweight

I'm...

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When they married he was as thin as a rake
But his wife she loves to bake

She thinks the way to his heart
Is to practice her culinary art
 
He’s been eating all her pies
You should see...

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I can no longer touch my toes
Or stop an unexpected runny nose,
It has become an issue
To find a handkerchief or tissue.

My loo has moved
I am not sure
It seems farther away than it was before
I often...

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Hanging clothes on your exercise bike, driving to the corner store
Taking the elevator up one floor, snacking while watching TV evermore.
Eating ice cream out of the carton, overloading the dinner plate
Eating sweets and drinking sodas,...

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The pounds are just melting away

You might think I'd be a bit concerned

Well actaully I'm on a mission

To lose 30 pounds before the snow flies

There's no particular reason why 

I set that particular number as...

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It was a flash of inspiration
A truly brilliant solution
It would solve a pesky problem
A neat and tidy resolution

She'd been pondering for months
Constantly vacillating
When all along the answer
Was in the shadows waiting

There were way too many...

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There it was at the door
 the package ordered from the store.
I dragged it in and tore it open
 the answer to my dreams once only hoping.
Piece by piece I took each out
 assembly needed...

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My wife thinks the birds need to balance their diet,
so when she puts food out, she mixes it well,
She puts apples and orange peel, nuts and raisins
with fat balls and breadcrumbs to clean their blood...

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Ate a bite of cake. Took a diet pill. It did not kick in.
Ate a piece of pie. Thought I would jump some rope.
Relieved I could not find the jump rope or my exercise bike.
Devoured...

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