Long Apathetic Poems
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Written: June 24, 2023
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In the depths of my spirit, I found solace.
I witnessed adornments and embrace.
Garments and clothes, a world you would create,
Surrounded yourself in a realm so sedate.
I lent her weapons, a shield from the harsh reality,
A different face, a disguise for her sanity.
I saw all that touched her—her desires and dreams.
In her quest for something beyond, it seems.
In strange and thorny actions, I followed the lead.
Not knowing where they would lead us, indeed.
A spirit seemed apathetic, lost in her own mind.
However, I stayed faithful and shined
Besides her resting body, I would stay awake.
Strive to suss out why she sought to be opaque.
Her vow to alter life, to possess secret keys,
I knew she was searching for ease.
But I knew deep down, she was only seeking
Never truly finding, always peeking.
Her kindness enchanted me, and I was its captive.
Constrained by her love, I felt so adaptive.
No other soul could withstand that despair.
But I stayed by her side, showing I cared.
I existed in her soul, as a vacant palace.
Empty and abandoned, a mere space.
I was dependent on her, a shadow in her light.
But what did she luck with my colorless plight?
She wouldn't improve me; or bestow me to shine.
I was just a pawn in her grand design.
Sadly mortified, I would strain to understand,
But she would shrug her shoulders as if I were bland.
"I understand you," I would say with a sigh.
But she would brush it off, leaving me to wonder why.
In the depths of her spirit, I found solace.
But within myself, I felt a growing malice.
I knew I was just a spectator, a bystander.
Watching as she sought something grander.
Yet, I stuck by her side over wide and thin.
Her spirit held beauty and light within.
And though I may not be the one she sought,
I cherished the moments and the lessons she taught.
In the depths of her spirit, I found solace and peace.
A glimpse into a world where all troubles cease
Though I may never truly understand her quest,
I will support her and gift her my best.
Deprived of your love, I carry the burden of deep shadows under my eyes,
with crow's feet drawing the story of endless nights on my face,
where each lie was your illusion, born from the confusion surrounding me,
elusive and fragile, a dance of amorphous metaphors unraveling in the wind,
subjected to your disdain, your words mercilessly cutting my soul,
deriding my appearance and my intellect,
as I fell into the abyss of silence, searching for a point of support.
Mockery does not suit my face, where my lips are cracked with thirst,
a river once full of life, now silent under a shroud of unfulfilled longing,
my vibrant nature now buried under a layer of heavy melancholy,
leaving a cardboard moon, devoid of its usual shine,
stars like candles extinguished one by one, in a ballet of shadows,
no point in waiting for the sun to rise, when the end seems to have come,
the world stopped in its rotation under the heavy, leaden clouds of forgetfulness.
Unfulfilled expectations, all my momentum scattered to the wind,
my spirit is apathetic, my inner light a flame barely flickering,
now you see me, unmasked in my raw pain, in all my loneliness,
collapsing under the weight of endless torment, like a wounded and wet hawk,
rising with eagle eyes, a warrior, more determined and bold,
traveling further with unlimited reach and newfound self-esteem,
this bird, you cannot change, for its flight is eternal and unbound.
Beyond masks and shadows, my soul finds its path,
despite the storms that try to bring me down, always stronger,
always freer, guided by the light of a hope that never extinguishes.
EPISODIC POLITICAL MOCKERY
Legislative trials are roaming;
Congressional criminals
Gaining more freedom to re-chain
Our growing liberty:-
Today’s bombed and pre-bombed
Societies and us are becoming
So similar in judicial acts of inequality:-
For us, the Constitution has become
As a stretched rubber band
Of negative jurisprudence—
And in today’s apathetic joyous modernity,
We too, seem to approach a modern-day
Diabolical bombing Civil War situation:-
Remember, all choices have their
Accompanying consequences;
Be they sweet Moonlake-like
Or geyser waterfall-like:-
After today’s extended Breaking News episodes,
I am praying this Just Different poetic prose flow,
Will be of an awareness thought-provoking
Brain-shore frothing consequence:-
Flaw
All your beautiful flaws.
I am left crawling at your feet, begging, let me be yours.
Cynicism and pessimism; I see a beautiful prism,
Floating inside your galaxy eyes.
Bitter words choke realism;
I guess the party has to die.
Left behind to tell only lies.
I love the way your truly despise.
You are so apathetic and that’s to your credit;
You have nothing to hide behind.
They say miserable; I see incredible.
So credible, you do not speak their dull,
Repetitive slogans, no catch phrase needed.
No advertisements; you’re real and I mean it.
I love it when you say you really hate.
I love to see you act that way.
(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Form:
December 14 Scripture Meditations Based on 1John 3-5
Key Verse – 1John 3:24 And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.
MY GOD, THANK YOU FOR ABIDING IN ME
Thank You for abiding in me thru Your holiness
Since You’ve already sanctified me by Your purifying righteousness
Absolutely granting me Your forgiveness’ wholeness
Now, I’m cleansed from filthy sin-wickedness.
Thank You for abiding in me thru Your grace
Since You’ve already saved me by Your rescuing embrace
Absolutely giving me Your eternity’s rays
Now, I’m freed from grievous hell-penalty trace.
Thank You for abiding in me thru Your mercy
Since You’ve already redeemed me by Your ransoming clemency
Absolutely gripping me Your care’s fervency
Now, I’m pulled from apathetic hatred-supremacy.
Thank You for abiding in me thru Your compassion
Since You’ve already regenerated me by Your empowering function
Absolutely guarding me Your love’s protection
Now, I’m upheld from evil transgression-destruction.
Thank You for abiding in me thru Your presence
Since You’ve already chosen me by Your adopting license
Absolutely gladdening me with Your revival’s iridescence
Now, I’m encouraged from sorrowful plight-incense.
Thank You for abiding in me thru Your leadership
Since You’ve already converted me by Your transforming workmanship
Absolutely governing me with Your authority’s fellowship
Now, I’m extricated from worldly friendship-partnership.
Thank You for abiding in me thru Your victory
Since You’ve already blessed me by Your triumphing glory
Absolutely guiding me with Your history’s story
Now, I’m uplifted from frustrating loss-misery.
December 14, 2022
Favoured poems allow me to feel blessed, letting me rejoice
Announcing soul’s gratefulness midst apathetic noise
Vouching expression anchored upon faith’s poise
Optimizing reflective times, despite doubt ploys
Resonating human nature's bests and decoys
Expressing earnestness of heart’s voice...
Declaring my need for the Lord's hoist.
Poems I delight in reverberate with life joys
Offering inspiration against hypocrisy that annoys
Exuding truth in varied forms along writers’ prudent choice
Making me praise* God for poets and their great style-alloys...
Shaping my poetry, enhanced by what my learning pen employs.
*Psalm 44:8 In God we boast all the day long, and praise thy name for ever.
December 12, 2019
2nd place, "FAVE" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Line Gauthier; judged on 12/15/2019.
"She reassured me with an unfamiliar line."
Love is a mystery school, yearning for sages
well able to reckon sixes from nines.
True wits should elect sin's disbursements
rather than reflect on love's scenes of rushing bunglers.
Love is sick, blind, unkind. Aren't we cruel?
She chided: brush your flapper, dying blue
between that pair of cheese crackers.
Remove the Devil's Pitchfork from your hair.
Doubling as Dracula, your zeal repealed
by loving an unpersuaded other.
Stay not inconsolable, my weaning one!
She knelt beside me, interpolating my orations.
Entreat for veritable blindness to take better blame.
Apathetic to any flame, resisting even sipping sunshine
interred in the long night of voluminous drapes,
pray for cardiac arrest to efface 1700 hours of shadows.
Perhaps, pray you would love me, and I shall say something of it.
Not yet once more a narrative of depressive introspection
enough is enough and who wants to read that cloudy gloom
of times blasted by the sand of scraping of the shaving dusk
Lamentations ‘I used to be this and like that’ professions of success
a story of light entertainment under a panoply of easy rushing flow
ifs and buts now ‘could have should have would have’ did I really
A touch of mania mangled in machination of defence distortion
projections of mechanised dissolution of a hungry soul in waiting
lightning of dark ignitions of void and numbness just the same
Prisms of condensed reflection waiting to destruct dismantle
a here and now and there and then search for meaning of
meaning of mindfulness and sensing nonsense’s scent and sense
The corrosive sand in my hourglass has turned a shoreline sure line in which
all tides seek tenderness where is what is and will be one
as torrents have dissolved for now to silent foam and form of motion
Lowered by expectations aspiring from cascades and shallow mooring
longing for some drifting wood conversed into a beach hut of simplicity
quietude and the dogma of ‘higher faster longer’ no longer but easier
Today without nostalgia a little more removed from the whirl pool from
self-righteousness a little tad embraced by what I hope is to be humble
a safety net and also my life buoy anchors firmer in the river that moves
To the ocean and two rivulets speak loud and clear to be happy
with apathetic inertia to be contained and drowning kept at bay
and without hurting sentient beings not harming you nor I
Those thoughts begin to catch my fish to fry and feeling them breeds
a cautious slow and tentative fermentation wherein ballast and burden
is unfastened without too much mental agony and injured attainment
The beauty of a starfish the ink on paper and an octopus’ eight noble
truths maybe a dolphin retreating in those stark and shark infested
feeding grounds embrace emotions of where my heart wishes to be
22 March 2018
A few soaring trees
Here and there
On a green earth
Flowers with flesh in girth
The costume bear
No wear and tear
Air going out in BMW
Air coming in seven hues
This show is likely due to
System in a capital skew
In front of them
Is the waste land
Marshy messy meadow
Dull bushes in shadow
Looking ugly and small
Staring at the marble hall
“Can’t we get
Some healthy sunshine
A little shade by a hand divine
A tender touch of love
To get rid of
This wheeze and whine?”
But apathetic capital
Pays no heed
Day goes and night comes
The vulture is sure to return
Peeved mass of despair
Inflammable in the air
The other day came the headlines
Two fleshy plants molested
Raped and confined
Turmoil in the spine
The force opens fire
A gloom dies then and there
Tale of tearing tears everywhere
Grousing gore
Whether here in this shore
Or in Baltimore
Be that as it may
We shall overcome
In the long run
May be it will take
A lot of decades.
We have stars as our guide
And dream inside.
----------------------------------
Hatchet in the tree
Hatchet in the snow
A snowman’s hand gripped
A snowman slashed low
Low falls the timber
Low level UV light
Light reflects white
Light will then entice
Entice by photoelectric effect
Entice by photons in cadence
In cadence with yuletide
In cadence with Christmas time
Time is itself a gift
Time and time again
Again the winter solstice
Again the world will spin
Spin on it's axis
Spin by angular momentum
Momentous holidays will come
Momentous mementos prior
Prior to the feasts
Prior to the givings
Giving a beginning
Giving an end
Endpoint to point
Endpoint to position
Position the world with bows and ribbons
Positioned in a box
A box of dark matter
A box of hot rocks
Rocks wrapped in flavour & colour
Rocks wrapped in gravity & electric charge
Charged forward by a vacuum
Charged forward at 0 dollars cost
Cost just a kiss under the mistletoe
Costs just an open heart, does it not?
Not if not genuine
Not because it ought to be
Be because you ought to be
Be joyeux noel
Joyeux noel Deus ex machina
Joyeux noel God by machine
Machinations of generosity against greed
Machinations of compassion against apathy
Apathetic the inanimate object
Apathetic indeed
Indeed life is an incantation
Indeed the miracle we need
Needless to say
An incantation speaks atop the tree