Whodathunkit
Jebediah Suggs
watched the gopher tortoise hide –
his veggies at risk
“Y’all listen up, dang fool tortoise
If’n yer expectin’ a meal
Ya gotta ‘nother thin’ comin’
“I been a plantin’ and a waterin’
Watchin’ my garden grow
Till y’all pop out ‘n’ steal a spinach leaf
Ta take it with ya below
“Dadgum hole makes it hard ta catch ya
So I’s been standin’ watchin’ behind
Yer in fer a new home
Some spot with no veggies I’ll find”
Ole Jeb, he nabbed his prey
‘N’ the offender looked had fear in ‘is eyes
Turtle soup was what that gopher be thinkin’
But he was just goin’ fer a ride, much to his surprise
Me, I yeehawed when Jebediah
Snatched the tortoise and drove off on a relocation junket
‘Twas then I realized I’d become a redneck too
So tell me, whodathunkit?
*Entry for the “Something New” contest
(based on a true experience)
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