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Etheree
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Hurt
is what
I feel when
you belittle
me with harsh, unloved,
abusive and slained words.
You make me feel bad about
myself to the point where I can
not look in the mirror to face what
you have made me from the pounds of your fists.
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I do not know?
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Today we rise.
No more hiding in the shadows,
of culture,
creed,
tradition.
No more silent complicity,
defensive arguments,
sickening pretences,
shabby excuses,
for the actions of men,
brutal and coarse and vulgar and obscene and murderous and abusive.
Today, we rise,
as one.
Today the change starts,
with me,
within me.
Today we rise.
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Free verse
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The day I met you
Was like music to
My ears
You were kind, gentle
An considerate
You was so loving that
You melt my heart away
One day your true colors
Soon arrived, the mask
You were wearing fell down
Underneath it was a
Cruel, cold human being
Abusive and disrespectful
At first you hid it well
Under your fake mask
Was a ugly human being
It was said, that a leopard
Always shows his spots
JULY 23, 2020
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Lyric
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Loving it was
And so beautiful
Soft it was
And so addictive
Like the trees that were planted last spring
We could’ve grown together
Like the weather moving
We could’ve changed together
Ignored it was
But I still loved
Forgotten it was
But I could handle it
Like a fire that needs to be fed
You longed for more
Like salt on an opened wound
Your words stung and clung to my heart
Harsh it was
And I couldn’t feel
Abusive it was
And I wore the scars
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Rhyme
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I implored, I fenced, I yelled
Yet I never tried to betray,
I brabbled, I was amiss, I dissed
Yet you never tried to affray,
I was insane, I was abusive, I was indurated
Yet I never evinced,
I felt sorry, I felt ashamed, I felt cheated
Yet you never peeved,
I left, I ceded, I was jaded
Yet my heart thumped,
I was hovered, I was baffled, I was hatred
Yet you never limned,
I cried, I lapsed, I pleaded
Yet I never lost my mein,
I was consoled, I was pitied, I was endured
Yet I never left you to feel one.
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Free verse
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Some boyfriends care
Other boyfriends don't bother
Some boyfriends hang with you
Other boyfriends forget about you
Some boyfriends take you on a date
Other boyfriends don't even call
Some boyfriends need you
Other boyfriends use you
Some boyfriends make room for you
Other boyfriends push you out
Some boyfriends are sweet
Other boyfriends are abusive
Some boyfriends are cute
Other boyfriends aren't even
Some boyfriends care more about you
Other boyfriends care about their friends
Some boyfriends you marry
Other boyfriends you forget
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Dramatic Monologue
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This time has come to be apart,
the abusive actions weren't really that smart!
In one angry moment you scarred my head,
You could have been the killer,I would have been dead!
I know amongst all the anger is guilt and remorse;
but,again ,you chose the violent course!
When do you learn self control?
When do you set standards that reach your highest goal?
Turn to the Lord,be filled with his spirit,
Spread his loving words;so,others will hear it!
We're all cracked pots carrying his word;
yet,so many people starve that's never heard!
Each individual pot has its' own hidden flaws,
"Share his message,""Rejoice in his laws",
This my friend will restore your soul,
Happiness will fill our hearts,making us whole!
We all know the Lord is always right;
as,through more Cracked Pots...Shines Heavens Light!
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Free verse
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You think you know him
But you refuse to see
The artful way he abuses me
He captivates my mind
He traps my soul
He pins my arms to my side
When I tell him just to go
He uses knife like words
To slice me with his tongue
His eyes are like daggers
Causing me to come undone
Harsh fingers press against my face
Proving im a Doll
To play with as he choses
Or throw against the wall
He taunts with cruel intentions
To make my heart bleed
Playing Devils advocate
Once I cry myself to sleep
Soft and bitter sweet
In an instant he turns to stone
A heart as cold as ice
Mean down to the bone
But you refuse to see
You glance the other way
And listen to his words
You join in his game
Each word he says is now a jest
Each look is a mistake
And when he grips painfully
He just meant to play
Close your eyes to his work
It really is an art
But no matter how you spin it
Inside he is an abusive jerk
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Free verse
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*Hello, i wrote and uploaded these poems in May 2018 but my account got deleted. I am uploading them all over again This poem is the second part to the first one. Enjoy*
She was once given a bottle
That held a special potion
The person that gave it to her
Advised to use it when she needed it
She forgot about the bottle
It was plain yellow with dull dark liquid
She continued on with her life
A life with a secret
In the depths of the night
A monster crept in her hallways
And climbs into bed with her
And whispers “Good night”
The monster drags her out
She can’t escape his grapes
Over and over the nights
Does the monster
Heed to is will
She feared the night
When the darkness would consume her
And she would bend
To its tied down will
However she had enough
The night the monster dragged her out
She mustered her words
And yelled to the monster
“Just hit me
Hit me
You already make me feel worthless
I am nothing to you…Nothing”
The monster recedes but the woman runs to the bottle
She opens the bottle and swallows the liquid
But how does it feel
When she can’t die from it?
The liquid gave her hope
To reach out from the darkness
And rise up
To never see the monster again
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ABC
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when someone says you need to forgive someone for something
that does not mean you are saying what they did was okay
when they tell you to just let it go,unhook the anchor...
they mean for you,not for them,see a better day
you are giving someone power,when you let them affect your life to that extent
so forgive someone for YOUR own sake,actually DOES make sense
you hear alot of cliche' things,especially growing up like i did
but at the end of the day,i refuse to let them be that big
the creepy man that scarred you for life,or maybe an abusive husband
the girl that plays mindgames with the good man that's in love with her
that mother who let the stepfather abuse you cause' she "loved him"
or the father that drank and said nothing but "okay" and "sure"
no matter what your situation,you must forgive them promptly
you must forgive them for you,not for them,this doesn't mean it wont be rocky
it's hard to forgive, but its even harder to forget
but if you hold onto these grudges you will regret
you will become a bitter human being,with tons of exhausting baggage
thinking about these things and re-feeling them will run you ragged
trust me,i've lived it
im trying to fix it
im not perfect,im only human
but im trying at least,to remove it
let it go.
unhook the anchor.
let it go.
unhook it from your ankle.
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Rhyme
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We're all still the same dear, I still remain.
Your blood we'll spill here, it'll leave a stain.
How it breaks your heart, yet I don't care.
I watch you fall apart, I'll help your heart tear.
If you showed me heaven, I'd leave you there.
I took all of your sin, all that I could bear.
I start to laugh, for I was born for this.
Take the last photograph, for I'll no longer miss.
Tell me all your lies, I'll sit back and smile.
I'll share your cries, every once in a while.
Everybody sees, the web of lies you've made.
Hush your pleas, for my love will finally fade.
Everybody knows, this is our last song.
As your heart slows, I know I've been here for too long.
I'll take it all in, just like before.
I just didn't see it then, but I felt so sore.
My ever lasting love, is no more.
I'll let you dream of, the heart you tore.
You are noe, one of them.
I'll ask how, then let our fire dim.
With just a look, I should break your heart.
The so called love I took, while you ripped me apart.
The stars in the sky, tell of my fate.
I just wish you'll die, for you're far too late.
Do you feel the pressure, pushing down on you?
I'll let sorrow murder, for our love wasn't true.
I could be weak, and sense less.
Yet I couldn't speak, when I was left defenseless.
On my own, I can finally live.
I'll not feel alone, for you're no longer abusive.
I'll let you drown, in your own lies.
I'll push you down, despite your cries.
I'll smash your crown, in front of your eyes.
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Rhyme
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Well my dearest one, I guess this is my stop.
This is the part where I run, or my heart shall drop.
I'll grab my bags, and so I'll move on.
Gather up my rags, and I'll be gone.
Should I turn and say, my final farewells?
I'll just turn away, and remember the stories you'd tell.
The ghost of you, remains without the slightest hint.
I'll think the love true, as I remember your scent.
All these wounds that leave scars, shall never heal.
Tears fall like stars, bring pain so real. Please my dear, look away from me.
The end I fear, for it's something I cannot see.
There's just no reason, no reason to live.
I'll just fall through the seasons, though this lifes abusive.
I just walked away, where could I go tonight.
This game I no longer play, for there's no reason to fight.
This situation absurd, as I just walked away..
She couldn't say a word, what was there to say?
Why couldn't I tell her, the real way things went?
Maybe I wasn't sure, maybe I missed a hint.
I'll be the first to say, I've messed up so many times.
I'll be the one who's not okay, evem after these rhymes.
Why couldn't she tell me, where I went wrong?
Couldn't I see, the message in her song?
I feel the water rising, time to lower my head.
This searing ache is not surprising, time to fall in bed.
One last song, one last rhyme.
I've always done wrong, until the end of time.
So goodbye, this is my end.
I don't die, yet I lose a friend.
You can't be my one, for I thought you were done.
I can't be here, no not in this story.
I cannot be here, for I have no glory.
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Rhyme
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As you watch me, I slowly die.
Now you see, why I always lie.
So much pain, your death's bringer.
I'm driven insane, why does sorrow linger?
Blood runs hot, misery is what I live.
Pain's what I got, for your abusive.
I hate, everything about you.
I asphyxiate, as I turn blue.
Just leave, do not return.
For I cannot believe, you let me burn.
Clenching my fists, I run from you.
Cutting my wrists, now I'm through.
Just die, leave me alone.
Say goodbye, for your true self has been shown.
I HATE YOU, I love you.
What's new, what should I do?
Fists fly, I cry...
You die, say goodbye.
Don't wake me, I don't wish to see your face.
What I wish to see, is not this hellish place.
Look into my eyes, tell your lies.
Our love dies, yet here comes the cries.
I'm so afraid, to live this life.
Your acts to be repaid, I pick up the knife.
What have I done, why do I laugh?
Why do I run, is it because my heart broke in half?
Will darkness turn to light, do you care?
Now it's your fright, for the love you did not share.
What's happening to me, I'm dying on the inside.
I die slowly, why should I hide?
I HATE YOU, just die.
Now we're through, goodbye.
Put the gun, to my head.
I'm now done, for I am dead.
Go away, or watch my suicide.
Because sorrow will stay, I have died.
Do you hear in my voice, the frustration?
Yet it's my choice, for self-mutilation.
I HATE YOU, do you shrug it away?
I HATE YOU, just die today.
Do you hear me, do you hear the pain?
Now you see, why I'm insane.
Never before, never again.
Walk through the door, and my war won't win.
No more sorrow, No tomorrow.
I HATE YOU, YOU LOVE ME!
I HATE YOU, JUST LEAVE ME!
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Bio
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You told me about her and how much she meant to you, I mean your wife because just like I am a
woman enough with only the difference we have between us being children.
Her hips cracked for your black dump ass, an ass which is a coward and a fatherless figure
Her hips cracked to give you children unlike I could give them to you but “Wait!”
I did not want my own hips to crack for what you called your normal for me to bare children for you
I am black, and I am a female
I have coiled and tangled hair, hair you can never run your fingers through unlike her chemicalized
smooth ones
I am a female capable of taking care of myself and your normal can never be you taking care of me
I feared you with my heart feeling pain every time I was in your presence
It was that Monday night which narrated why I was unease and that Tuesday morning I woke you up
to drive me, so I do not be late for my 7-5-day appointment
Something you were never used to doing or rather never done as you pry on those who are weak to
fight your corrupt mind
You called me in anger for what you feared I would unfold the truth you told me the Monday night
Your eyes wide like a devil’s child ready to take breath from my bones
See! I am so confused how you compared me the woman who gave birth to you and betrayed you in
return to save the woman you left beaten and she who was in need from your escape, the woman you
called your wife
Black normal man you called yourself
Black perfect man you portrayed yourself
Black abusive, cruel and a coward of a man I saw you
See! I lost my respect for you the moment you raised your hands on me
One slap from you was enough
One slap from you was enough for me to notice that my normal with you can never include abuse
Black man stop women abuse
Poet
Masego
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Free verse
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* hello, i wrote and uploaded these poems in May 2018 but soon after my account got deleted. I am uploading them all again so enjoy*
Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Here comes the sun…
The one lyric that plays in my head
The one I felt on my back
When all I was covered in darkness
Mama told me its alright
And that I had to do things all right
She was my example growing up
The endurance and beauty that shined
She taught me that love was like a flower
That tender love and care
Could make it sprout
But she forgot that type of flowers she was growing had thorns
Mama knew she had a burden
A curse lying on her back
It ran in the family
Given not by choice
A curse that flowed in her blood
And spilled at her side
Everywhere she went
The curse…he… would follow
It was an impeding shadow
That suffocated all the light she had within
Suffocated, ripping her
From her breath and right to live
Mama told me it was fine
That this was the flower she was caring for
That one day, I too
Would care for that
But I saw her scars that ran up her arms
And that rested on her neck
AS if it to be a reminder
Of the power and coldness over her
A curse that kills her
And that's relentless
But its been in our family for generations
Like a thorn that suffocates a rose
It like a disease that runs in our blood
And flows out of me like a broken faucet
And I don’t have the tools to fix
And I’m helpless
All I see is a graveyard
Of all my ancestors with the curse looming
This curse comes to kill me
And with all my might I try to fight it off
Bt it comes to me
Trying to take my breath out
As the corpses surround me
As I turn to see my fate
This isn’t love mama
You don’t deserve this
I don’t deserve this
Why do I have to accept it
But I have seen a better future
One where we will experience no hurt
Where I teach my children how to really love
A place where our flowers can grow and not die
And we will say
Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
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Prose Poetry
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All men (the loser boyfriends/husbands) think that it's their right to be physically, mentally, and verbally abusive toward their female companions (girlfriends/wives), well they're wrong. Most guys are always beating their girlfriends/wives up every single day just because they didn't make their men dinner, do chores around the house, or whatever. It seems that these womanizing losers are way better than their women. Actually, they're not; they're idiots. Controlling these women and being physically, mentally, and verbally abusive toward them don't make these Neanderthals men; they're like childish cowards. All guys think that they're the only breadwinners in their families and the women aren't. But guess what--they're not; some of them don't have jobs. And does anyone knows what gets on my nerves? Men always cheating on their girlfriends/wives with other women, getting them pregnant, and not taking care of the children they already have. And those controlling, abusive men, they're always telling their female spouses/lovers what to do, what to eat, where to look, and who to talk to. I mean, who are these womanizing losers to judge other men and to boss these women around? I mean, who does that? Everybody doesn't even know why they'd bother spending the rest of their lives with those abusive idiots. This whole saying by these controlling abusive men have been getting on everybody's nerves and my nerves, as well: "You're-not-to-speak-unless-spoken-to," this "You're-not-to-talk-to-your-family" ordeal, this whole "You're-not-to-have-guy-friends," and this whole "You need me! You're nothing without me! You have no money! You have no friends! Everything's in my name: the house, the cars, clothes, everything I own! You're useless! You're worthless! I own you for life! And you will respect me!" Where I come from, the rest of us nicer guys, we treat our women with the respect they rightfully deserve. The last time I checked, the mothers have raised their sons to treat women and other people with respect, but they now know where they've gone wrong with those womanizing clowns. My suggestion for the women is for them to leave their abusive husbands/boyfriends before it's too late because if they don't, they'll end up in the hospital or the morgue. To be honest, these women, they never should've met, let alone dated or married those abusive men to begin with. And if these abusive men think that they can control those women forever, they've got another coming.
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Narrative
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This message is someone’s story and from observing their story, it inspired me to write about it. Hopefully this can help someone else who may be going through or in a toxic relationship.
Imagine - Being with a person and experiencing this.
The level of toxicity, love, sex and lies, pain, hurt, tears, abuse, disrespect, smiles, fusses, fights, disappointments, rejection, laughter, disgust, the broken tv’s, phones, Mac book, furniture, bruises, suicidal thoughts, black eyes, abortions, evictions, 911 calls, restraining orders, busted cars, flat tires, tracking devices, stalking, pull ups and pop ups, arrest, on sight fights, jail, warrants, court dates… when is enough enough?
Being friends with someone since teens and now in their late 20’s, to see your friend go through this over and over and over can take an emotional toll on you. As a friend, this can become draining on you because you have now leveled up, your career, your journey, growth and path has changed. You are thriving, prospering and elevating. And because you see so much potential and you want so much better for your friend that it’s hurting you to see after all these years of abuse, she literally can’t, or should I say, won’t let go.
To see someone never wanting to leave, give it up, let it go, move on, walk away, or even change, makes one wonder, is it a condition within the mind, low self esteem, lack of everything, meaning, lack of love, lack of respect, lack of self worth… What is the NEED to be loved by THIS man, I just cannot fathom.
How about the love you have for him, you give that same love to yourself. It’s when the unconditional love becomes conditional. But the question is, is it love, or is it an obsession?
As her friend, you drove to another state to rescue her, talked to her, advised her, shielded her, comforted her, you even hurt for her, prayed for her and with her. You want so much better for her, but when they don’t want better for themselves, what do you do? Do you walk away, distant and remove yourself? Do you end years of friendship? Do you still continue to stay and watch them self destruct and destroy themselves by constantly repeating the same cycle, year after year, after year, wanting no change or growth, just wanting the love of him. But this isn’t love, so maybe it’s just, wanting him, and whatever that brings.
And although you have new and exciting stuff to talk about, the conversations are always the same with this friend. And the actions are still the same, leave, go back, get abused, get cheated on, leave, go back, get abused, get disrespected, constantly lowering self esteem, lower than low, leave, go back, get abused… I don’t know, what is it? Maybe it could be childhood trauma, or the lack of love that makes her feel the need to so be loved. But how could this be when she is loved by many? Maybe it’s because the love of others is overshadowed by her want and desire to be loved by this One. The no good One, the disrespectful One, the hurtful One, the abusive One, but why? Why are you so in need to be loved by him when you are loved by God, the Most Highest? God’s love is an insurmountable love that this world, no man or anyone could ever give you.
And yes, please understand, a person can believe in you and want what’s best for you, but the question is - Do you believe in you?
Your friend can know your worth, but you have to know your worth for yourself and sweetheart, you are so worthy and deserving to be happy, loved and at peace, you truly are. You are destined for greatness. There is so much potential in you. I just wish you can see in you what I see in you.
You have the strength to overcome this, so instead of seeking love in a man, you must first learn to love yourself. Yes, love yourself enough to walk away, leave and let go.
I pray you will seek God, turn to God, pray to God, cry out to God, open up to God, trust God and allow God to bring you through. Oh the blessings that are waiting for you on the other side.
Imagine - Being without that person and experiencing this.
Joy, love, respect, happiness, healing, peace, smiles, laughter, dancing, relaxation, fun, sunshine, did I say peace? Prosperity, vision, dreams, goals, strength, newness, opportunities, progression, growth, did I say peace?
Since you already know what life is like with him, imagine life without him.
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