Best Shular Poems
Your name is misery
here to haunt me in my dreams
In my waking hours and in my sleep
Nightmares and worst fears
of course you can make them come true
For
Your Name Is Misery
You are the demon
That called himself a dad
You are my illness, my shame, guilt and pain
I cannot shake you
I try to run but you always catch me
I try to hide and you find me
Your Name Is Misery
You are the cause of my pain
I used to blame myself
But lately I have found I am not the one to blame
I was a child
Innocent and helpless
when you took my dignity, my life my sanity
Your Name Is Misery
You have presented yourself in many forms
The school counselor who tried to violate me
The Father figure who molested me
The strangers who forced themselves on me
A gang paid to rape me
A Fiance who beat me
And killed the child inside me
The voices that torment me
Your Name Is Misery
You have so many faces
It would take my whole life to paint a picture of you
And quite frankly
I don't want to waste my time on you
I just want to forget you
Your Name Is Misery
I wish I could get away from you
Break away from your grasp
Take away the control you have over me
I hate being under your spell
I hate the pain you constantly cause me
I hate crying because of you
I hate the darkness you bring with you
Most of all
I hate you
Your Name is Misery
That is no lie
There is no mistake
You bring havoc, drama, and chaos
All the things I despise
I don't want you near me
I don't even want to look you in the eye
Your Name is Misery
I am afraid of you
I can't stand you
most of all
I am mad at you
for you have made my life a living hell
But no more
I am cutting you out
I have never wanted you around
It is high time
I got rid of you
It's time to stand my ground
I am going to take you down
I don't need you
I never want to see you
Get out of my life
For I am not going to let you bring me down
You are not welcome here
Your Name Is Misery
By: Jean Shular
~The Light~
I remember the first time
Voices in my head getting way too loud
Just a little girl unable to enjoy the world around me
I thought there was no way out
Almost took the easy way out
Then I saw something shining at the end of a long dark tunnel
It gave me hope
A reason to believe
As long as I kept my focus on
~The Light~
Thirteen and so very young
Afraid to tell a soul
About the demons in my head
I thought that I had to deal with them
For myself by myself
Until I slipped and told a friend
Finding out she heard them sometimes too
Helped me feel a little better
It is just too bad she never had a chance to see
Brightness at the end of her tunnel
After she moved away
She just gave up
Walking away from
~The Light ~
I felt so bad
Yet I managed to hide the pain
I always felt inside
Even in my darkest hours
With many attempts behind me
I kept hoping to see
~The Light~
It is beautiful to see how a family can rescue
Their fallen
Just not giving up
Always feeling their unconditional love
Knowing they were there
It all helped me walk out of that dark tunnel
Embracing
~The Light~
Now I firmly believe it is possible
For the most troubled soul
To find a way out
Without taking the easy way
With love and support
I know you can do it too
As you go through life’s journey
Wherever it may take you
Always remember to look for and
Embrace
~The Light ~
By: Jean Shular
I Cried Today
I am thirteen today
You would think I would be happy
Yet it is hard to even crack a smile
With everyone wishing me a Happy Birthday
To me it’s not that happy
As today strange voices carrying on inside me
They say I don’t deserve to live
They say I should die
I am thirteen and
I Cried Today
My sweet sixteen isn’t so sweet
I just want to hide
Go back to sleep
Or simply disappear
What is a girl to do?
When she feels so sad, lonely and depressed
I don’t even have anyone to turn to
I am sixteen and
I Cried Today
Today I am nineteen
It is my graduation day
And while I am smiling on the outside
I feel like I am crumbling on the inside
Those voices don’t give
Never a break
No rest for the wicked they say
I am nineteen and
Today I Cried
I am twenty-one
No drinking for me
I am in a hospital as my first sip was almost my last
Who knew I could be so allergic
I am twenty-one
In a hospital and
I Cried Today
I am twenty-five
I thought I was in love
Until I walked in on my fiancé
In bed with my best friend
My heart feels so cold
I am so alone
As my world has just turned upside down
I am twenty-five and
I Cried Today
I am thirty
I am working hard
To get back my life
Take control of my future
And actually see the possibilities of a tomorrow
It is a lot of work
With a hard road ahead
I am Thirty
I Never Cried Today
I am thirty-four
In a few short months I will be thirty-five
I am not alone
I realize I never was
Surrounded by people I love
People who love me
Married to the love of my life
My dreams are coming true
I feel so happy
I am almost thirty-five and
I Smiled Today
By: Jean Shular
Beautiful Dreamer
Soccer Champ
Volley Ball Star
Basket Ball Girl
Not much you cannot do
As you see a picture in your mind
Or on paper
Then draw it so perfectly
So many possibilities
There are no limits
Beautiful Dreamer
An ornery grin
Or a pretty smile
A sense of humor
A gorgeous Gal
You are a
Beautiful Dreamer
I hear you have set your sights
On being a pediatrician
For what you want to do
I know it will come true
For I know you
I know you are a winner
As you keep going
I have never seen you give up
Walk away
Determined with a strong will
You are going to be
The best
Beautiful Dreamer
By: Jean Shular
For Audrya I admire you and I have no doubt that you will go far
I believe that you will make your dreams come true
We love you.
~I Will Love You for Eternity~
We started out as friends
Slowly our feelings grew
Although I knew, how I felt
A year ago
I waited for you to make the first move
I was so unsure of myself
I did not know how you really felt
I just knew that I could always
Count on you
To be there for me
As we are
Best friends
While it is not often, a girl can say
She is in love with
Her best friend
I am one of the lucky ones
For in you I have found
My heart, soul, love, and my future husband
Not to mention
My best friend
I could not ask for more
In you I have found
The right man for me
I cannot imagine my life without you
For you are my rock
I cherish only you
And it will always be to you that I say
I do,
Not just in our wedding vows
But for Eternity
For I have found
The one and only person
I ever want to give myself to completely
Heart, mind, body and soul
~I Will Love You for Eternity~
For My Future
For My One True Love Jeffery Shular
Love,
Jean
Butterfly
You came into our lives
Rather fragile
A new cocoon
So very delicate
In need of love
Attention
And room to grow
Like A
Butterfly
Everyday you grow
You are changing right before our eyes
And while in our hearts you will always be
A little girl
In the blink of an eye
You will grow up and spread
Your wings and fly
Like a beautiful
Butterfly
By: Jean Shular
Happy Valentines Day Kourtney
Jessie’s Drum
A little girl with an imagination
That went on forever
One day a cowgirl
The next trying to plug in your stuffed rabbit
We never knew what you were going to do next
You never ceased to amaze us
You knew who you were from the start
And you always marched to the beat of
Jessie’s Drum
So much has changed
Through the years you have grown
The streak in you has gone
And as much as I hate to admit
Won’t be long before you are all grown up
You are still just as sweet
And you are beautiful as well
Marching to the beat of
Jessie’s Drum
The biggest thing being that you know who you are
Not letting others talk you into things
You know are wrong
Or that would compromise who you are
A teenager with a good head on her shoulders
A girl with a dream
You know you are who you want to be
So no matter what others may say
I know you will always
March to the beat of
Jessie’s Drum
And because of that I know you will go far
By: Jean Shular
For Jessie
I know your dreams will come true
Just like I know you will always be you
We love you
Livin’ In a Small Town
Ring, ring goes the telephone
Mama answers to the neighbor saying
Do you know what your daughter is doing?
That is life
Livin’ In a Small Town
So full of mischief
So full of life
Neighbors are neighbors
Not just the stranger next door
That is life
Livin’ In a Small Town
Riding horses through town
Or bikes around the block
People waving and calling out
“Hey how are you?”
That is life
Livin’ In a Small Town
A smile from everyone
Town barbeques in the park
Town meetings
Friendly people
That is life
Livin’ In a Small Town
Go to church and you see most everyone
Like a big family
Watching each other’s backs
Always there to lend a hand
Neighbors helping neighbors
That is life
Livin’ In a Small Town
Visiting with the old timers
From when the town was built
Hearing the stories
Passed down
Through the generations
Funny ones, sad ones
Stories of hard times
All a part of the history
All part of
Life
Livin’ In a Small Town
Sometimes I got frustrated
Especially when Mom knew things
Before I could tell her
Being in trouble
Before I even made it home
However looking back, I would not trade a thing
As I always have loved
Life
Livin’ In a Small Town
By: Jean Shular
~Face in the Crowd~
Family and friends all around me
Caring when I am happy
Not wanting to listen when I am down
In a room full of people
I feel alone
I talk to you
Even when I know, you are not really listening
I hear you when you tell me you do not want to hear about
My day
My past
My life
As if, we are two strangers
With no common bond
I listen to your stories
I see where we have so much in common
Yet, we are worlds apart
What happened to the person?
That shared jokes
Making me laugh
Making me feel hope
I miss that part of you
Hidden deep inside
What happened to my best friend?
Who made me feel like someone?
Cared no matter what
I do not know the person you have become
Like the rest of the people in my life
Who only care when I am happy
Not wanting to be around when I am down
Expecting me to be there for them
I feel so hurt knowing
To you
To them
I am no more than a
Face in the Crowd
By: Jean Shular
Beautiful
I remember being a young girl
Wanting to fit in
Thinking pounds of makeup would make me pretty
So unsure of myself
With no self-esteem
I had no clue
That just being me
Was more than enough
It was
Beautiful
Wanting so bad to fit in
I let myself believe that going by a different name
Would make me pretty
And make people want to be around me
So first I went by Gina,
Then I changed the spelling to Gena
Then to Jeanna
Not realizing that no one really cares how it is spelled
And no matter what
My real name is enough
It is
Beautiful
As I grew up
I began to learn
Friendship
Isn’t about quantity
It’s more about quality
It was a lesson I had to learn on my own
Through a lot of abuse
Being used most of the time
Yet among the users and abusers
Without realizing it there was a few
Who were true
With them though it wasn’t about the makeup
The hair or the name
It was about me
The real me
And from them and my family
I learned that
Just being my self is
Beautiful
So Gina, Gena and Jeanna well they are gone
It’s Jean now
And I am proud of that
I am proud of who I am
And even if I don’t have an army of friends
The ones I do have
I am happy to have because for the first time
I can honestly say
They are true friends
Who like me for me
And that right there
Is more than good it is
Beautiful
So now the makeup is minimal
Just enough to enhance the beauty that is already there
I wear my hair however I like
I don’t worry about fitting in
I believe that if it is meant to be then
It will be because I am being me
Not the person I used to think everyone wanted me to be
Now I know that
While the fake me yeah she was pretty
Where the real me is more
Because I am
Beautiful
By: Jean Bonella Shular
Here is to being who you are and loving it. Not letting anyone tell you who you
should be. Here is to being Beautiful.
~Rose~
Best friends we became
Slowly it turned into more
Afraid to say it at first
I was not sure you felt the same
Then you asked me out
It was very apparent
We belong together
Our love is special
Like the beauty of a
Rose
We have weathered some storms
Came out stronger
Proving we can do it
We will last forever
With you, I want to spend the rest of my life
Thank you my wonderful husband
For choosing me
For loving me
I love you too
Like the beauty of a
Rose
We may not be perfect
We may have our differences
However, in the end
Our love always shines through
God must have put us on this earth
With the soul purpose of
Finding each other
Loving each other
He must have known
Our love would last forever
For when he brought us together
We did the rest
Now our love is
More beautiful than a
Rose
By: Jean Shular
For Jeff, I love you
~ Falling ~
I was a little girl with so many dreams
Even through the worst of times
I kept my chin up and let
My dreams keep me alive
I was okay
Until my dreams got crushed
And my worst fear came true
~ Falling ~
With no dreams to lean on
As I started to go throw the changes
I was a teenager
With a huge chip on my shoulder
If you weren’t with me you were against me
I had many friends
Yet most of them were superficial
I never let anyone get too close.
I was too afraid of
~ Falling ~
As the years went by I slowly came into my own
I became a woman
With many scars hidden inside
Yet it seemed like one word shined brightly on my head
SUCKER
As so many times I thought I had found that one
Someone only to find out
That they weren’t that person I wanted them to be
They were only taking advantage of me
I didn’t understand why
I seemed to keep
~ Falling ~
Finally I moved back closer to home
I found an apartment and made it my home
I was doing well on my own
Then I met You
First we were friends
For three years our friendship grew and grew
Then we both admitted
The feelings we had for one another were
Way more than friends
So we began to date
Then a few short months later we moved in together
And before we knew it
Our wedding was here
I started to feel secure
I was starting to get over my fear of
~ Falling ~
Then boom the bomb dropped and I caught
A glimpse of someone I never knew you to be
While you never raised a hand at me
You never did anything to hurt me physically
It’s your words though
That cut right through me
And it became apparent that we were never meant to be
More than friends
Looking back I can see so many signs
That before I couldn’t see
And if I had known then what I know now
I would never have begged you to stay
The first time you wanted to walk out that door.
Now you are gone and here I am
Moving on
At first I didn’t think I could
I thought my world was ending
I couldn’t see that a new chapter in my life was just
Beginning
And while I will always love you
That love has changed
It is not as deep anymore
As I am
~ Falling ~
Out of love with you
By: Jean Shular
Back To the Beginning
I remember
As a little girl
Christmas Eve sitting around the fireplace
With my brothers and sisters
Listening to Mom and Dad
As they told us the story
Of the first Christmas
Christmas morning getting up and getting dressed
Going to church in our Sunday best
Mom and Dad walking up the aisle
With five little ones right behind
I really miss those times
When Mom and Dad made Christmas special
Never losing the true meaning
Always taking us
Back To the Beginning
I am all grown up now
As I find myself, getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of Holiday shopping
Competing with whatever I did last year
Then there is a moment when I stop and think
Of Christmases past
How back then it did not matter what it was
How it was all about the togetherness
The fun of getting ready and going to
Christmas Mass
Then coming home and all helping prepare
Christmas Dinner
Opening gifts and seeing what Santa brought us was nice I admit
The true spirit of Christmas
Is what I miss the most
Therefore, I take myself
Back To the Beginning
As I hang each ornament on that tree
Hang lights around a door or window
I think about how I can show a good example
Do what Mom and Dad did for me and
Take my loved ones
Back To the Beginning
Lead by example that is what I have learned
So this year though I may give a few gifts
I will keep in mind
The person I am trying to find a gift for
Why are they so special and dear to me
What would be the best way to show
Them how much they mean to me.
Most of all I want to help
Remind them
Or teach them
What Mom and Dad taught me
The true meaning of Christmas
So please dear Lord help me
As I take my loved ones with me
Back To the Beginning
By: Jean Shular
~ Independence Day ~
Born into freedom
I can’t imagine any other life
Free to make up my own mind
Free to choose my own path
For this I am forever grateful
As I stand up and salute
The Red, White and Blue
On
~ Independence Day ~
It comes with pride
Compassion
Respect
A Call to Duty
All traits to be honored
And admired
So here is to our men and women of the armed forces
Helping keep our country free and safe
Standing up for what we believe in
Standing Proud, Strong, and United
I salute you
Every day and especially on
~ Independence Day ~
To those have served before
To those who have gone and passed away
Be it in the line of duty
Or any other way
I salute you
Every day not just on
~ Independence Day ~
So here is to this country
Standing proud
Strong
And United under our banner
Our flag
Letting freedom reign over
The Red, White and Blue
One nation
With billions of hearts
Joined as one
On
~ Independence Day ~
By: Jean Shular
For all the soldiers, past, present and future
Living and passed on
I salute you
I thank you!
Childe Inside
Sadness falls over me
I can feel my heart aching
Remembering
That little girl
Child Inside
Hurt and alone
Never fitting in
Wanting so bad to break down
Feeling strong for everyone
She will never have a chance to
Let those tears fall
Let go of the pain
Child Inside
Tears fill up my eyes
As I reminisce about days gone by
The sadness, pain, confusion
Guilt and shame
Made growing up difficult
Child Inside
Remembering how
Not knowing where I belonged
Never comfortable in my own skin
Always doing my best to fit in
Wanting just one real friend
Knowing the ones I had were fake
I never honored
The wish that came from inside
It has taken a very long time
For me to see
The real me
To embrace my
Child Inside
Letting her feel
Comforting her when she is down
Picks me up
Helps me keep going
Feeling so much better
Knowing the pain
Is over
I can move on
Embracing my her
Acknowledging that we are one
Me and my
Child Inside
By: Jean Shular