Best Satirehouse Poems
DIRE STRAITS was playing on the KITCHEN radio while ROSIE tried in vain to play along
with “Money for Nothing” on her HAMMOND organ. Her house always looked like a NUCLEAR
WASTE(land) with huge TID-BITS of food all over the counters and floor. Her husband
Roscoe was an inept VACUUM SALESMAN who went door to door wearing blue SPANDEX
BOXER SHORTS. His face was full of zits that looked like LUNAR CRATERS. Roscoe constantly
dabbed the zits with LISTERINE SOAKED TISSUE(s) as his MEDICINE of choice. It wasn’t
CONVENTION(al) but it lessened the PAIN somewhat.
FRIENDS and neighbors never invited the pair to any of their GIG(s) because they ate
like “cone heads” when they were in the WINE AND DINE mode. On rare occasions when
they did partake of a repast at someone’s house they left WORMHOLES in all the sandwiches.
They would just take a sample bite and put it back on the tray which always reviled the next
one in line.
The two of them are so socially ignorant that when it came time to thank the host for the
invitation, they felt it was a UFO situation. To them, this meant in their DRIFTING minds they
were Un F...ing Obligated to say thanks. I say all of this because knowing my brother and
sister-in-law as I do, I guarantee they will never experience any INSOMNIA or remorse over
their outrageous public behaviors.
* For entry in the Wacky Weekend Challenge