Best Pretends Poems

America pretends today
that it didn't actually
put an unqualified
narcissistic bully
in the position
of the most
powerful man
in the whole known universe,

America pretends today
that somehow
this lying
two-faced con-man
can best represent
their interests
& actually givea damn,

America pretends today
that its o.k.
that the office
of the President
is now run by a
scamming tycoon
real-estate developer
whose claim to...

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The pursuit of happiness 
is the American Dream
but how can I be happy 
if I ain’t spending?
What kind of world 
have we all come to live in
where happiness is sold at 
filthy auctions?
Add it to my cart online
and hope I’ve earned free shipping. 

Go to...

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Dorothy’s fabricated Pollyannaism struck me as obnoxious.
She pretends to be a pacificator at these PTA meetings.
I have seen her social media posts.
She is an avid hawk with violent words.
She loves guns and bullets.
Pretending to be a dove here.
Asking for us to vote her in as...

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Tissy is reading the best book she’s ever read.
Her tummy is full of Kibble, she has been greatly fed.
You can come off the shelf if you want, her owner said.
But Tissy is happy in her sailing ship, she has named Ed.

Surrounding her on other shelves...

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My co-workers flock in to see me.
But they do not, actually see the real me. 
I hide from them.
They stay a bit, telling me
What I do not listen to,
But pretend I do.

They are satisfied when
They leave
For I have mastered
The face
That pretends
To 
Care

I 
Am
Rather
Horrible
But
I am not...

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