Best Parodychristmas Poems
I'm dreaming of a quiet Christmas ,
Just like the ones , I'll never know
With no children screechin
Or pastor preachin
Of where all sinners surely go .....
I'm dreaming of a quiet Christmas
With every cheque , Im tryin' to write .
But , then Lehman Sisters took flight ,
Hopeing Citigroup , can get it right .
( 2 )
Now I'm dreaming of a quiet Christmas .
I pulled a "cracker " , late last night .
She was sent from heaven
Aged twenty seven .
With "stats", for which Miss World , would fight .
Yes , I'm scheming for a quiet Christmas .
Told Santa Claus , I'll be off-line .
Hope my yuletide passion is fine ,
And I'll make it thro' to zero-nine ...
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With apologies to Irving & Bing ( That's Crosby !!! NOT Chandler )...
To be entered in John's Christmas song " what-not "....
(To the tune of Jingle Bells, inspired by John Heck's 'Crazy Christmas Carols' contest)
Dashing down the aisles
goes everyone today,
yelling at the other folks
to get out of their way.
Cash registers ring
as the parents fight
over the last perfect toy
to make their season bright.
Oh...
Shopping malls, shopping malls
strike my heart with fear
noisy crowds do overtake
this festive time of year, oh
Shopping malls, shopping malls
where kindness disappears -
what happened to goodwill toward man
and spreading Christmas cheer?
I ducked behind a rack
and prayed it would subside,
dreaming of the freshest air
and open space outside.
The parents slowly left
with clothes and toys they'd bought
and everything but Christmas cheer -
I guess they just forgot.
Oh...
Shopping malls, shopping malls
the worst that it can get:
high prices, chaos, hostile crowds -
I wish I could forget, oh
Shopping malls, shopping malls,
I'm left but with regret -
next year I'll do my shopping
on the good old Internet!
The Concentration Song
Christmas contest, change a song
think I'll try, I can't go wrong.
Got two lines but it won't last
concentration's going fast.
Barking dogs, phone rings and rings.
If it don't stop I'll break that thing.
Gee, oh wouldn't it be great
if I could only concentrate!
Inspired by John Heck's
Crazy Christmas Carols contest
Sung to The Chipmunks Christmas Song