Best Insurance Policy Poems
Hope Drunk
Kenneth Alexander
It’s harder, than ever, these days to see the bright side of life, what with reality the way it is.
Suffering imminent, never ending pain, reminiscent, expand a good plan some evil is collected.
All is well in love and war, child victims, seniors - sore no more, snuggled in bunks, hope drunks.
It used to be, expression is free, disappointment, now the price to throw the dice, and nothing left but breathe, from God, hope drunk.
For the best candidate a bullet bump, in secret, hope drunk.
Benefits, saved for a few, who knew, insistent, demanding positive thinking order of the day and those in a slump, hope drunk.
A golden watch, a fish dinner, a thank you for support, and with nothing more, shown the door. A life insurance policy, satisfied, died in a dump, hope drunk.
In reality the same way, celebrate defeat on the seat of dismay. The problem before was not the score, a punk, hope drunk
a disinteresting air
another gaze
within a full length mirror
a persnickety grimace
bandaids
the severed slices
of crystal
sleeping
within my
larynx
excuse my idiotcy
not utilizing
punctuation marks
cmon darling
please please
warrant my arrest
dementia is not covered
under my insurance policy
but
cough spit
mutants
like myself
somehow survive
religiously pathetic
empathically morose
sympathetically laughable
one last day
one fleeting
precious
moment
the rifle is gently removed
from an uncolored mantle
periwinkle would have
been my palor of choice now
Say ah and place
the hunter's
metallic eye
strategically
down your throat
everything is pretty
everything is so goddamn
wonderful
sweat on my forehead
sweat on the trigger
one deep breath
one more for good riddance
go my sweetheart
cmon
pull it
i said pull it
for a starved beggar's last day
will be
righteously
and
magnanimously
honored
by himself
You thought you had me by the hair,
While you tossed my heart
To and fro
Across a tennis court
Just because
I was your insurance policy
That you kept in your back pocket
Or so you thought
Until that frigid morning
I disappeared
Halfway across the globe
Just so I could
Untangle my long blonde hair
From the harsh grip
Of your twisted thoughts.
Maybe body surfing
Did the trick
Right into the salty waves
That slammed the soft sand
With a certainty
That right then
You became a history book
A scary chapter
That sealed itself shut
With a hammers blow
So that
I could never take a second look
While you thought
You had me by the hair.
This poem was too long to submit without premium membership, so I have submitted it in two parts, but it is meant to be read together.
Part one....
They say he is clearly psychotic, if knowing that was even a possibility.
The visible signs are all present, his behavior is a dead give away.
"Normal" people don't act this way, they act like everybody else.
When did being different, become the diagnosis of being clinically insane?
Their image of "normal" is repeatedly drilled into our heads.
Through the direction of our leaders, our education, multi-media.
The television and cinema screen their greatest tools for propaganda.
A man and his lovely wife, with their two point five children,
A duplex in the suburbs, undistinguished from any of the others.
a neatly trimmed lawn, a few hedges, a two car garage for their one vehicle.
A couple truly in love, rarely do they argue, with great sexual chemistry.
Working constantly through the better part of their lifetimes
making enough money to pay their bills, and splurge once a week.
their companies CEO, the bill collectors, and the government's tax brackets,
all work together in unison, to ensure that they are never more than comfortable.
At the age of sixty-five, they have a small nest egg saved up together.
Only now, well into their "golden years," are they allowed to live as they choose.
Their biggest motivation and desire, is simply to survive for another year.
When they die, their children discover they have no money in their accounts.
It always is a shock, revealing your parents have died completely broke.
Ideal examples of the perfect "American Marriage," left penniless in their grave.
Luckily for the children, they had purchased a small life insurance policy.
The payout almost exactly enough to cover the burial costs and funeral.
Even experiencing this unsettling revelation at their parents expense,
These same children are pre-destined, doomed, to follow suit.
Brain washed into believing that their outcome will somehow be better.
They spent less, saved up more, purchased a better insurance policy.
Unaware their parents shared these exact thoughts, forty years prior.
FIRE, FIRE
The house is burning round me,
There’s no time to hang about.
Just enough for me to get
A few essentials out.
First, up to the bathroom
To collect my medications.
To a lifelong hypochondriac,
They’re vital preparations.
Next, the photo albums;
I just can’t let them burn.
My life recorded through a lens,
Through every twist and turn.
The car is parked close to the house;
I’m afraid it might explode.
So I have to find the car keys,
To move it down the road.
My fire insurance policy
Covers such a fate.
I’d better take that with me,
To prove it’s up to date.
I have to take my cell phone;
It’s full if information.
A phone book and a Filofax,
My life’s organisation.
I’ve put my warmest coat on,
Although the weather’s sunny.
Well, my wallet’s in the pocket,
Full of credit cards and money.
And, lastly, my computer,
To keep me in the loop,
And make sure I can enter
This poem in Poetry Soup.
Don't touch me
Not in the sense
I want nothing to do with you
But don't touch me
Cause I'm feeling some kinda way about you.
Where don't means do
I'm about to come unglued
Get away from me,
You're giving me that
Could this be the one type vibe
Can I stay with you in fantasy?
I could be Alice, mapquest
wonderland, be my direction
to curb this hesitation
Be my make believe
Oh, it feels like a dream
Stop touching it
I don't want another audition
I ought not,
but I left the door unlocked
Positioned the headboard
to keep the neighbors up all night
Sometimes a girl just needs
a good sleep tight. Still
Don't touch it
Warning yet tempting
I should when I shouldn't
I do when I don't
I'm so confused and need you
to work it out comprehensively
Do me like an insurance policy.
Face down, muffled sounds.
Pillow catches tears
Don't touch it
My heart is tied to strings
& you'll make more
than just my body move
while the neighbors become
insanely familiar hearing you say my name...
I used to live my life
by planning every step
factoring in every contingency
like a sales pitch for a Life Insurance policy.
I flipped the coin and it landed on its edge.
When a man came at me with a knife,
I was forced to shoot and take his life.
It was self defense but I was still horrified by what I had done.
I would be dead and buried if I hadn't been carrying my gun.
But he said something right before he died.
After he said it, I was even more horrified.
He told me that my wife put him up to it.
She tried to have me killed but she blew it.
I found out why that she was able to convince that man to try to murder me.
She was going to share the cash when she cashed in my life insurance policy.
She put him up to it but it was something I couldn't prove.
I divorced that witch after I packed my bags and moved.
She would've been on easy street if she had succeeded with her crime.
But she failed and because of the prenup, she didn't receive one dime.
(This is a fictional poem)
A HEARTY EXPERIENCE
Bad cholesterol found easy sites in my heart for deposition
Time came when they needed to be cleaned by operation.
Two stents were planted by what they called angioplasty
My heart would survive if the arteries didn't again get nasty.
As medical treatments were getting day by day costly
For future financial relief I got a health insurance policy.
I realized the meaning of the saying nothing lasts forever
When some years later my heart in angina started to quiver.
No options left, I had to lie once again on operation table
The doctors did their job well to make my heart stable.
The rightful claim of expenses the insurer refused to cover
For I had more than one stent placed already as heart saver.
I then realized howsoever in the ads the offers glint
In real life one shoulda read the fine print.
February 1, 2018.
Some got a pathological need,
a dirty obsession for that coffin wallpaper
They wrapped themselves in the black widow veil
of murderous deceit
For what?
To taste the yellow snow
of an unclean life insurance policy,
a crimson crypt guarantee
They’re willing to scarlet signature go
to the pit of perdition below
With the gnashing of their plaque teeth,
their lying gangrene gums
have a bottomless covetous bleed
Oh how filthy is the color of greed!
Their gain green ways
is dirty money laundry madness
A purple reign whitewash rinse
is obscenely falling at a Faustian pace
The prince of this world
got them brown nose benders,
those bloodhound coin sniffers,
on a silver urn lucre loco motive chase
But the code blue folly of it all,
the gold digger worms
do-do come to a flatline crawl
And that dollar bill cadaver feed
is a pink ink lip lust envy
for violet dye poison ivy —
A sin dung beetle sordid concede
Oh how filthy is the color of greed!
You said you were making chicken salad but you made crab salad instead.
You tricked me into eating shellfish and in a few minutes I'll be dead.
My life is flashing before my eyes, I'm really scared.
You're going to take my life and that is not fair.
I'm such a fool, I should've known that you would kill me.
You decided to do it because of my life insurance policy.
You'll collect a million dollars after I die, you certainly do love cash.
I should've listened to my mother when she said that you're trash.
You hid the phone to make certain that I can't call 911.
You also hid my medicine, I would kill you if I had a gun!
If you were a decent person, you'd call 911 because I'm really sick.
You decided to kill me with crab when you learned that I'm allergic.
You're laughing hysterically because I'll soon be deceased.
You won't get away with it, you're underestimating the police.
You never loved me, all you cared about was being rich.
You're an inhuman monster and you're also an evil *****!
(This is a fictional poem.)
If your automobile insurance was all paid up to date
And you suffered a loss, just what would you say?
Would you say, “Mr. Repairman, I will pay the bill”
I don’t believe Allstate will do what they say they will
If one paid for your families health insurance policy
And a family member had to have a small biopsy
Would you have the confidence to make a claim?
Or pay it yourself, since they weren’t to blame?
If one bought life insurance for your burial and plot
And you died, would your survivor say, thanks a lot
But I think I will pay for this all out of my own pocket
After all it was not me, but another that bought it?
If you owed a debt so big that you just could not pay?
And one who loves you said He paid it all in one day
Would you continue in futility to pay, in unbelief
And pay for all eternity, a promise you can’t keep?
If you were on death row, for all of yours sins to die
And someone gave their life for you a sacrifice
Would you start a new life, like you were born again
Or continue to live your old life of shame and sin
Jesus paid your debt, Gods word is your guarantee
All you need was paid by Jesus death upon a tree
You can pay the cost, not believing you are free
Or cast all your cares on Jesus, fully redeemed
If you can trust Allstate to do what they say they'll do
Then surely you can trust in the Word of God too
If you can trust when 'you’re in good hands” they say
Then trust the nail prints in His, It's you He died to save
If something happens to me and I’m found stiff and cold,
Don’t think it’s my time,
‘cause I’m not nearly that old!
If it’s true what they say,
that fifty’s the new thirty,
Then i’m in my prime,
with plenty of time,
and a mind to be a little bit dirty.
I’ve been told, “trust your gut” but it seems sadly enough,
that i’ve truly married a nut!
I shake in the dark,
as I sleep with one eye open,
but I’m awake all night long,
just a prayin’ and hopin’.
I thought we had it made,
and I’ve loved her so much!
But she doesn’t kiss me back,
guess I’m only her crutch!
I’m not so big on sweets but I love a good wine.
She made me a special drink,
but it tasted like turpentine!
I was calling to Ralph as I knelt hugging the porcelain throne.
Cried aloud for some help,
‘cause she’d taken my doggon phone!
I saw my old Doc who’s had a suspicion.
He ordered me home,
on a fact finding mission.
I found the only gift she’d bought me in years,
an insurance policy that brought me to tears.
I thought my fate could be a reasonable dissolution,
but in this state it’s not a feasible solution.
So I’ve laid out some bait,
to match with her hate.
In my sad and lonely desperation,
I hired for her a temptation.
One bite of the fruit,
and there goes her loot.
Fifty-fifty my eye,
that’s too much from my pie!
I’ll find someone new,
more honest and true.
She’ll love me for just me,
and forever we’ll surely be.
But until that fine day,
while I’m still here to say,
If something happens to cause my hasty depart,
Please let the cops know, from the bottom of my heart,
She did it to me,
and it was definitely first degree!
Bound To Be President
Looked around for book in a library
Had compunction for one called Pecuniary
Liability contained in insurance policy
That and person could see was a fallacy.
On one fact I had been completely sold
When by both parents, they often scold
Proof in pudding really had been in a pie
Not avoid no matter how hard we try.
Pie was eaten up totally and completely
Ended up in my stomach nice and neatly
Came up with idea plump and pregnant
Turn leftovers into Poem with God's consent.
Here it happens to be my fine friend
Completely coming out of my rear end
So much of it soon was passed around
Was part of a President's odd sound.
You can fill in any politician's name
in place of President with my consent.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
i am dreaming i am to be annointed
but my feat of unequal measure is this
mankind knows im coming
theyve seen the sucker from miles away and yes its funny
for they are going to make an example of me
thaey are going to prove a point
after my innocence is over
I will never know the true time
the true date
and soo many other small and big details as im tested through propaganda
that everyone knows is all about me
that affects me and affect me not
the music
the television
the news is fake
all to make me feel
to see how i react
and everywhere i go is like candid camera
however on a certain day and certain time i am to be waxed
and everyone will worship the on e who did it
for right when i was born
every woman and man took out a life insurance policy
for when i passed for their children and themselves
knowing i was doomed
and no one was going to help me but set me up
and lead me towards my demise
every frined every stranger
except the past was the crime of the century
my voice of reason
warning me
throwing rocks into the future
of where not to go and who not to trust
i wake from this dream screaming and think to myself
the only true way to win
is show the world
a human life is worth a lot more than a couple thpousand bucks