Best Gladys Poems
Have you heard about my renowned uncle, Gladys
Who by sexual makeup had an Aunt’s status.
Well, he or she, you can use whatever you want;
Like I just said, this uncle is loosely an aunt.
Anyways, she had to remove all her mirrors,
Since she said, each of them made too many errors.
She claimed that they never reflected her splendor;
While we thought, they couldn’t decide on a gender.
In any case, she seemed a hallucination,
But Aunty was more of an amalgamation.
And if you dared to ask most people’s opinion,
They’d say she was pieced from the animal kingdom.
She smiled like a jackal and grinned like a badger,
And her lips resembled those of a fly catcher.
Her frizzy head of hair, was pin-striped like a skunk’s,
And her mammoth nose swung like an elephant’s trunk.
Her eyes were as piercing as that of a boa,
Or any old reptile collected by Noah.
We played with her sideburns that were like Wolverines’,
Although our moms made sure we got extra vaccines
See, Gladys had kindness in a strong manly way,
With her big old bear hug that could crush a Steinway.
We must admit, Gladys had some fine attributes,
That may show up some day in oddball film tributes.
To be shown nationwide for the weird and plucky,
But my cousins and I would still think it’s yucky.
Anyhow, it’s time to stop picking on Gladys,
By switching over to her only son, Alice.
David Fisher, 11/22/14, iambic hexameter,
For Giorgio's contest
Categories:
gladys, family, funny,
Form:
Iambic Pentameter
I peek through my blinds to be nosy
So what I am normal and in my room it is nice and cosy,
I feel like I am old lady kravitz on bewitch
And yet I call some one else that and I am the *****,
Pointing flaws out in other people feels so good
By doing this it makes my seem like it should,
Being hateful and mean is what I have become
This is what I do to one and maybe some,
I pride myself in calling them names
But, lord knows I'm the hater so I hide this side of me to not be ashamed.
Written By: UNique Poetry 2015
Categories:
gladys, anti bullying, evil, hate,
Form:
Rhyme
She sits there, rocking back and forth
always with a smile on her face,
just five feet three inches of her,
and about four hundred pounds,
To us kids, who had never
seen anyone this big,
she was gigantic, humongous.
Then we got to know her
and we all loved every bit of her,
She was the jolliest, happiest
person, we had ever seen.
When Miss Gladys laughed
we called it a "belly laugh,"
Looked like it came up
from the tips of her toes
straight up her legs, and into her belly.
Her whole body shakes
as she leans back, tilts her head upwards,
And from deep within her
comes this joyous sound,
and her belly jiggles around
like a huge bowl of jello,
And we laugh with her
Yes! the whole village
erupts in laughter,
every time Miss Gladys laughs.
Categories:
gladys, funny, happiness, people,
Form:
Free verse
Awesome
Unique
Nice
Talented
Glorious
Loving
Adventurer
Dedicated
Youthful
Sentimental
Nayda Ivette
12-8-2015
Categories:
gladys, birthday,
Form:
Acrostic
Miss Gladys befriended me at church
Invited me to her house for rose tea
Her table was exquisitely set with lace and doilies
Embroidered napkins, and beautiful flowers
She put out the most gorgeous peacock tea cups
I had no idea how to sip between peacock’s head and tail.
Miss Gladys laughed at my consternation
Brought out her every day cups with a tray of cookies
I was immensely relieved
Categories:
gladys, women,
Form:
Prose Poetry
My friend has few friends except me.
I call her twice a week, because of this.
And she is always available.
Her phone line is open.
She stands in the street and yells at speeders.
I have asked her not to, but she gets a kick out of it.
She is perpetually angry; focusing on negatives.
I bought her a book about positivity.
She threw it away – it was “hooey”.
I do not take it personally.
But I try to revamp the conversation.
“How is Bunny?” I ask.
Bunny is her baby granddaughter.
“She’s fine. But let me tell you what Gladys did this week!”
Gladys is her neighbor, and she is fixated on fixing Gladys.
Gladys said this, Gladys gave her a weird look,
Gladys stalks her, staring at her from behind the blinds across the street.
I try to introduce a new topic,
but she cannot stop talking about Gladys.
Gladys, Gladys, Gladys, Gladys, Gladys.
Gladys makes me mad.
I should block her from my phone.
I should tell her how I feel.
I should…..
Stop talking about Gladys, and focus on something happier, I think.
But do I say it?
No.
She has lost too many honest friends already.
I am all she has.
words 207 © 12:33 AM, Caren Krutsinger negativity
Categories:
gladys, friendship,
Form:
Narrative
What a Pleasure to see you coming down the Street
Cause you were So friendly and So sweet
The nicest person anyone could ever meet
Never to do Evil did you walk your feet
Although, at times, were you forced to bring the heat
So that the bad things, We wouldn't Repeat
As you did when I, myself, of a good frienship did cheat
Being it was your Nature to always be discreet
Looking all sharp, matching from head to feet
Wearing stylish hats and your hair so neat
Proud Mama with devoted daughters to make your life complete
Enjoying good company and soul food to eat
Which you to be a part of, would do, in a heartbeat
Often, on the go, come hail, snow or sleet
For one monkey your destination couldn't defeat
Having the energy in which the Energizer bunny couldn't compete
Always Smiling, to have known you was A Special Treat
At the right hand of the Father, you definitely earned that Seat
Categories:
gladys, death, family, life,
Form:
Acrostic
gladys knight
on midnight train to georgia
long way home
posted on June 28, 2018
Categories:
gladys, celebrity, home, song, travel,
Form:
Senryu
Your cousin Louise is weird the relatives told me. She names things.
Like what things?
She named her iron.
What is its name?
Her name is Gladys.
She said she dropped Gladys on Tuesday and burned her rug.
I thought it was hilarious!
I could not wait to meet her.
Categories:
gladys, humorous,
Form:
Light Verse
Gladys has an iconoclastic personality
a beatnik, hippie, nonconformist to the max
her yard does not fit into this posh modern neighborhood
it is colorful with reds, greens, blues, oranges
an assortment of mushrooms, frogs, windmills and such
she has not had to comply to the four approved color schemes
the homeowners association cannot oust her
she was grandfathered in, “as is”
a stipulation for selling this land to the developer
her monkeys, gnomes and faeries thumbing their noses
at neighbors who are not allowed to paint their doors red
or add an ornamental rock without permission of the association
Categories:
gladys, woman,
Form:
Free verse
Miss Gladys the Welcome Wizard lady is here
She is full of sass, beyond an insane level of cheer
No one wants to let her in, we try to ignore the bell
She climbs in the front window, demolishing the sill.
Hi we say, faking a smile, pretending to be pleased.
She retains weird enthusiasm, her pitch a little wheezed.
We are yawning through her brochure-filled presentation
She feigns happiness, another welcome wizard celebration.
She gets paid for every family whom she annoys
On the way out, she stubs her toe on one of baby’s toys
We did not apologize, maybe this is why she is suing
But judge, we argue candidly, her getting in was not our doing.
Categories:
gladys, humor, humorous, women,
Form:
Rhyme
Gladys T. Smith was never happy or joyful about anything.
Her life was full of drugs, needles, anger and hate.
All three of her children wrote this obituary for the woman.
The devil, who was our mother.
She was not kind to a neighbor, stranger or pet.
She used the belt when she could, chasing off anyone decent.
We grew up resentful and alone; no one came to our aid.
The best thing we can say about her is, she did not drown us.
Categories:
gladys, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Free verse
Gladys knits so fast, that now she has no time to go get a sheep.
She keeps one on her head, it’s faster and easier, and the sheep likes it.
They all like it. They line up daily, bleating at the door, hoping to be picked.
She is knitting a sweater today; I am sticking around to make sure it will fit.
Categories:
gladys, garden, woman, women,
Form:
Free verse
Glandular glib gladiator in Glady’s gladiolas?
glazing glassblowers gleaning gabbiness?
glistening, glittery, glitzy glop glimpsing gladiator?
globular glowworm gloriously gleaming in Glady’s gladiolas.
Categories:
gladys, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Alliteration
Gladys Sue Bea March was a Sticky beak.
Into our lives he would utterly peek.
She would tell everything.
Her mouth would fairly sing.
Thus when we saw her we would barely speak.
She had a clever way of sneaking in,
So quickly standing right next to your chin.
Listening with all her might.
It was not all right.
I think gossiping like this is a sin.
Categories:
gladys, 5th grade, 6th grade,
Form:
Limerick