Best Funnyhistory Poems
The Camelot That Was Not
By Elton Camp
Arthur was a king both wise and good.
He always did exactly what he should.
Sat with his knights at a table round.
Because equality would then abound.
Manly, virtuous, kind, tall
These they were, one and all.
And Arthur always kept near
The beautiful queen Guinevere.
His knights were in shining armor clad.
The hearts of his subjects they made glad.
Not one of them would ever delay
When a fearsome dragon was to slay.
Right at Arthur’s side
Old Merlin did reside.
Another wizard as powerful as he
The whole world would never see.
And what is that castle so fair?
It must be Camelot over there.
Any enemy would have to fail
Those steep, high walls to scale.
But of this idealized man and place,
Sadly, British history holds no trace.
Geoffery of Monmouth is to blame
For making this most bogus claim.
Back when little history I knew,
I blindly assumed it to be true.
Prince Valiant confirmed it all
From the time when I was small.
The sad fact I had missed:
Arthur did not ever exist.
I regretted that I misunderstood.
Arthur never lived, but he should.
Sarah Palin Replies to Her History Teacher
By Elton Camp
I don’t care if you were my history teacher in school
By what you ask, you surely must think I’m a fool
For you to say that to your class I now should return,
Why that’s ridiculous and makes my face red burn
I assure you that I know American history very well
And that about almost anything I am very able to tell
You can’t know how bad about your remarks I felt
I’m not some dumb blonde like Eleanor Roosevelt
I need to go to sleep
But I'll be back out to play
There are still many words
That need to have their say.
Many topics too, and History from the past
Words we always have, and at least the History lasts
So all you budding Poets, its good night from me
My heads on the pillow, I'm getting rather snooozzzeeee..