Best Florrie Poems
Waiting for the Postman
Florrie stands at the garden gate,
How much longer must she wait?
The Postman was due ages ago
What will he bring today for Flo
Junk mail or a pile of bills
Or a letter from her daughter Jill
Maybe a seed catalogue
Or a letter requesting she sponsor a dog
An offer of a new bank card
Or book-club offers of works by the Bard
Or a parcel from her sister Sally
Now living in the Rhonda Valley
A letter about changing her energy supplier
They promise her a cheaper deal
Then the bills are higher
A spring catalogue from Ann Summers
Or a free sheet advertising plumbers
Oh postman, what is keeping you?
Florrie has better things to do
Than wait and wait and wait and wait
Shivering at the garden gate
My Dad, the Coalman
My father was a coalman ,when I was a little girl
Five ‘o’ clock each morning, coal-sacks on his shoulder he would hurl
Behind the wheel of a lorry at fourteen years of age
No driving licence did he have, for he was under-age
My dad he was a strapping lad, what you would call robust
Handsome, though you couldn't tell, face covered in coal-dust
When he would come home at night, he was quite a scary sight
All I could see was big brown eyes and teeth so pearly-white
He'd perch me on his saddle and wheel me up and down the lane
Even though he'd worked a ten hour shift and was in a lot of pain
He used to tell us stories, they always made us laugh
He told us about a lady who wanted her coal put in the bath
One day he was approached by an expectant mum called Florrie
She told him that her waters had broken, so he took her on the lorry
When she arrived at the hospital, her skin and clothes were black
She'd got there safely in one piece, surrounded by Nutty-Slack
Some customers would pay upfront, my dad his lesson learnt
When customers refused to pay for coal already burnt
If someone was short of money, he would fill up their coal-scuttle
But if he told his dad, the boss, his response would be unsubtle
Hardly anyone has coal fires now and this makes me very sad
But lots of people in the town remember the Coalman, ‘my dad'
It happened one October morn
Long before I was born
The year was nineteen twenty four
A summons dropped through the door.
PC Gorst peering over the fence
Asked Tommy if he had a dog licence
He's nowt but a pup Tommy replied
I think you'll find him older the PC implied.
A summons Tommy then received
Lizzy his mum was awfully grieved
The summons stated that Tommy her son
Had kept an un-licienced dog anon.
On his behalf Lizzy attended the police court
Florrie her daughter went to give her support
Poor Lizzy collapsed and fell back with a thud
Florrie shouted oh mother this is not good.
Florrie then turned to the constable
And with a look so scornful
Shouted this is your fault PC Gorst
The clerk had to remind her of her outburst.
A doctor then was called for Lizzy
Who hadn't even blinked
The doctor listened to her heart
Then pronounced life extinct.
The bench then expressed their regret
But poor Florrie was far too upset
For she had to sit with her mother
While the constable went to bring her brother.
The inspector then recorded a tragedy
and sent his condolences to the family
Tommy arrived at the court feeling forlorn
Prosecution announced, summons withdrawn.