Best Donal Poems


Funny As a Heart Attack

A group of older men gather
once a week to talk about life 
after a heart attack.

Old Len chews tobacco still 
and tells jokes in a voice so low 
no one can hear the punch line. 

Another man asks Len  
to talk louder so they all 
can hear the punch line.

That’s when they discover
Len's been telling the same joke 
at every meeting, over and over.

The joke’s about a loan officer  
who lends a man $10,000 for a 
face lift that turns out so good

the lender can’t find him.
With heart attacks in common, 
the men yell “Tell it, again, Len!” 


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, heart, sick,
Form: Blank verse

Ballerina Marries a Bricklayer

Third day on her honeymoon
Sharon asks Butch what it's like 
for a man before he gets married.

A bricklayer by trade, 
and a man of few words,
Butch doesn’t know what to say 

but he knows Sharon has always 
liked to go bowling; in fact, 
that’s how this odd couple met.

So he tries an analogy although 
he doesn’t know it’s an analogy.
From age 12 on, Butch tells her, he

always felt like he had a bowling ball 
in his pants; that was a problem.
He couldn’t find pants to fit.  

When he became a man he joined
bowling leagues, three or four, and
went bowling as often as he could.

Then Butch tells Sharon he met her  
and knew he had to quit bowling  
having found a lane of his own.


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, love,
Form: Blank verse

A Walk In the Woods

In the woods soft snow
falls on the first day of spring.
Two daffodils laugh.



Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, flower, snow, spring,
Form: Haiku

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry


American Rainbow

Black lives matter
in different ways 
to different people
in the American rainbow
especially bus companies
that bounce over potholes
in the big cities of America.
For them money matters.

If blacks stop riding buses
the buses will be empty  
except for other poor folk
white, red, yellow, brown
who don’t drive cars 
but are too few to keep 
the buses bouncing.

Everyone will understand 
that black lives matter when  
everyone understands
that black money matters
not to blacks alone but 
to all stripes in the 
American rainbow. 


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, racism,
Form: Blank verse

At Sadie's Soul Food Grill

Otis was once a monk 
who took no vows, was
free to leave the abbey 
and eventually he did.  
I met him over chicken wings 
at Sadie's Soul Food Grill.

For almost 20 years
every spring and summer
Otis labored in the fields
raising vegetables 
and crops of every kind.

In fall and winter he
would gather leaves and 
plow the snow, wheel 
ancient monks up and down 
the endless silent halls.
He loved his work
because he liked to help
anyone in need.

I asked Otis why he left.
He said because at first   
he thought life was a burp 
somewhere in eternity.
He still believes that but 
wants to hear the burp 
before he’s in eternity.

Otis likes the chicken wings
at Sadie’s Soul Food Grill,
especially the real hot ones.
He ate chicken at the abbey 
but nothing like the wings  
at Sadie's Soul Food Grill.
A real treat before eternity.


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, food, religious,
Form: Blank verse

Old Quilter, Old Poet

She’s been making quilts
for half a century and he’s been 
making poems that long as well
and every now and then he brings 
a chocolate shake to her place
so they can take a break and talk.

He always finds her at the frame, 
peering through thick lenses.  
"I’m still house bound, Walt,"
she laughs and likes to say.

Once she told him quilts are poems.
She works with scraps of cloth 
and he with scraps of words and quilts 
and poems are never done until all
the scraps are where they have to be.

Now she's working on a Double Wedding Ring, 
a quilt not unlike a sonnet in that both follow
patterns of their own but she likes crazy quilts 
because she can improvise with scraps 
she finds on floors around the house.
Her job's to make something beautiful 
from scraps others might throw away.

He has no problem understanding that. 
He saves scraps of words and marries them
in ways some folk find odd or useless.
Finishing her shake she says maybe
they play jazz and just don’t know it. 

She likes Miles Davis and puts his album on  
when a crazy quilt won't go her way 
but she would never listen to Miles while 
she’s at work on a Double Wedding Ring. 
Yo-Yo Ma, she says, is the man for that.
The old poet says he would never disagree.


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, art,
Form: Blank verse


Caseworker Determining Eligibility

Caseworker Determining Eligibility 

		Cabrini-Green Projects
		Chicago

The child, age two, hammocked in the half
moon of his mother’s arms, is locked
in palsy, yet moves an eyelid as I ask, 
moves the other as his mother answers,
application form interrogation.
The father was a white policeman.
“Curiosity,” the mother says. “No more.
I didn’t go with him for money.” 


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, socialmother,
Form: Free verse

At a Bank of Elevators

Reunions can happen 
and leave you speechless.
I’m standing at a bank 

of elevators in a hospital
going to visit my wife 
when a wheelchair rolls up

carrying my internist 
from years ago.
An excellent doctor

who retired to teach,
according to rumors.
Now he’s pushed by a woman

I assume is his wife.
She looks sad 
and he looks worse.

He asks how I’m doing
and I say not bad.
I ask how he’s doing 

and he says he’s dying.
And adds that he hopes 
I never have to.

He says he never realized  
despite his patients  
dying could be so hard.


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, cancer,
Form: Blank verse

Premium Member Farcical

With his arm held closely by his side,
President Putin took a ride,
On his steed, so big and strong
Who thought this man could do no wrong,
It is regrettable to say
Only a horse could feel this way.
Putin is a manipulator,
A narcissist and a dictator.
Putin was on the run
Being President was no longer fun.

On a golf course far away,
Where Donal Trump and cronies play,
Mr Trump thought he played golf the best
But was never put to the test,
Because the Don was drunk with Power
All his fickle friends would cower,
They all bowed down to him
This situation proved to be grim,
He and golfers all gossip a lot,
About private matters that they should not.

Wouldn't it be fun,
Some peace at last for everyone,
If Trump was playing on the course,
And Putin passed by on his horse
Shouting out to his buddy,
Donnie, come away with me.
As things for Trump were getting hot,
And some thought he had lost the plot
It looked like a good idea
For Trump to run away from here.

So without further ado,
No goodbye or toodle-oo
Putin, with an almighty tug
Heaved Trump the big fat lug
On to his faithful horse
And without a whiff of remorse
The two rode away
And have never been seen since that glorious day!
Categories: donal, 10th grade,
Form: Rhyme

In Defence of Donald Trump

In Defence of Donal Trump

He is a crude person, not one I would
like the share a coke with, but he has galvanised
the working class (middle class) which was
shunned under the previous administration.
The class forgotten by other parties have found
a voice someone who talks for them 
and more Americans are at work as never before.
He represents an America that is not glib and
university educated but merely want a job and be able
to feel they are listened to.
He is a reckless president does not understand 
foreign politics and don`t care to know, but his group
do not care about Afghanistan, Iraq or other places,
he is delivering want they want.
This is what an American president is for?
© Jan Hansen  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: donal, bullying, character, creation,
Form: Blank verse

A Poem For Catholics

Natural Family Planning
has its ups and downs
so to speak but it often  

works quite well.
But when the calendar
says not tonight

I ask my wife to please
go in another room
with that banana.


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, marriage,
Form: Blank verse

Daylily

Blooming for one day
a lily welcomes the sun.
Bumblebees drop in.


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, nature,
Form: Haiku

Gold In My Ramen

It’s your anniversary so 
you’re thinking steak
but your wife wants ramen
so you go to a nice place
and order the fancy ramen
which comes with radishes
cut up to look like rosebuds
and costs as much as steak.

You slurp away with
the best of the regulars
until a gold crown falls 
from a molar into the ramen. 
Seconds later another 
gold crown falls off as well.
The next day the dentist says 
you need new crowns. 
The old ones won’t fit.

He tells you the new ones
will be made of zirconia. 
They'll cost $900 each 
cheaper than gold 
he says in consolation. 

In shock you ask him
what do the homeless do.
He says there’s no ER
for dental work but 
he’s heard about
a retired dentist 
must be in his eighties
who goes into the city 
one Saturday a month 
and does charity work. 
He needs help
your dentist says.
And more folding chairs
in the waiting room.


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, poverty,
Form: Blank verse

Butter Or Margarine

It was a mistake to take home economics out of the curriculum at so many high schools, says Wally, a retired teacher who has an ongoing interest in education. He taught high school for many years and still misses his students.

At a Walmart recently there was an incident Wally can’t forget. It pained him deeply because it made him think about the quality of high school education today. He’s not convinced it is what it should be at many schools. 

He was standing near the dairy case when a young man, not long out of high school, held up a package of margarine and asked Wally if it was butter. Wally at first thought he was kidding but then said it wasn’t butter, that it was margarine. 

The young man wanted to know the difference between butter and margarine. Wally told him butter comes from cows and margarine has a vegetable base. The young man turned to his two friends and said, “I’m glad we asked.” They smiled, thanked Wally and headed for the register, margarine in hand.

A week later Wally was at a local charity making a donation and was told the charity had quit giving baskets of food at Christmas after learning several clients had tried to pan fry a turkey. Now they give gift certificates instead.

At the charity Wally also learned that many young people today don’t know how to cook vegetables or fry bacon and eggs. And more than a few have no idea about budgeting or nutrition. 

Wally thinks this reflects poorly on secondary education today. When he taught high school, home economics was taught and students who didn’t learn the basics from their parents at home could learn them at school in home economics, even though it was not a required course. Now he thinks it should be, at least for the many who seem to need it.

He says young people today know a lot about cell phones and computers but sadly some of them don’t know the difference between butter and margarine or how to cook a turkey.  

A semester of home economics, he says, might help change that. He wonders if a lot of Advanced Placement courses are that important if young people can't fix themselves something to eat. Sandwiches and fast food, he agrees, do not a good diet make.


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, education,
Form: Prose

The Landlord

The Landlord

When finally at 80 Sammy died
Polly gave me from the pantry packets
of dry noodle soup that Sammy
to the end drank down as supper.
Tureens of it, with swallows
from the pint I’d smuggle in, kept 
Sammy blinking at the light
the final weeks. I lived below them
at the time and needed more than soup 
but in the parlor where they laid him out
we sat on high-back chairs amid the flowers
and marveled at how straight our Sammy lay.
Who prepared him must have brought  
his gnomic back, twice at least,
full force across a knee.


Donal Mahoney
Categories: donal, fantasy
Form: Free verse
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