Best Cervical Poems
I watch as time goes by,
With no great urge to try,
To make a move,
Or break a sweat,
I'm a lost heart broken guy.
"HOW" I wonder why,
A sudden urge to cry,
I see her image,
I loose a breath,
I'm a lost heart broken guy.
When will it feel so much better,
To smile like when I first met her,
Good times and bad,
A mixed bunch that we had,
I would sooner be writing a love letter.
Memories I want to remember,
God's prayer I like to send her,
All is not good,
A mass change in mood,
The cancer is one big contender.
I can't imagine my future,
A one I live without torture,
No one for a cuddle,
No one for a date,
I've lost my true love,
My only soul mate.
My start in life was not round here,
Newcastle was my home,
But now I've spent 20yrs in washington where I roam,
Now I wonder what is left,
A hopeless future at its best,
A big part missing cruelly took,
Plucked from life with a baited hook,
20yrs and it ends this way,
With no one by my side today,
3years ago and all was fine,
A loving family spending time,
We had our problems all families do,
Without a challenge you won't get through,
But one big problem had us beat,
Cervical cancer we had to greet,
The biggest upset was it's stage,
The worst stage 4 was off the page,
We just knew it was so bad,
There was no magic spell we had,
So all I could do for my love,
Was go beyond and up above,
We were happy with what we had,
Our son still has his mam and dad,
The family bond worked well together,
It led us forward in life for ever,
When a problem came to light,
We managed to solve it and get it right,
The two of us we were a team,
So strong together it would seem,
We solved our problems we'd think it through,
As proud parents that's what you do,
But that one day it all went wrong,
As the saying goes "it went Pete Tong ",
The nightmare started at the clinic,
Sat in reception with a look of panic,
Time stood still as the verdict was read,
All the results was everything you dread,
The feeling of real shock,
Never felt it before,
Such a kick in the face as we walked out the door,
That was the first of a catalogue of bad news,
It was now that the cancer would start to abuse,
My partner hung on and battled away,
But the cancer won over on the 5th of May.
I wish I was a better man and lived a normal life,
It was not hard to be a gent,
And look after your wife.
I never married my partner,
like I said I would one day,
I wasn't even any good to remember her birthday.
I had it all a future jam packed with lots of cheer,
I owe all that to one great girl cause she was so sincere.
She planned all our adventures,
She never got it wrong,
Even when she was so ill she managed to stay strong.
Couped up in bed she never ceased to show her skills in planning,
Even if to ill to come she'd book a week caravaning.
It's now she's gone I find it hard to step into her shoes,
To even think of such a thing,
I know I would just lose.
Is it about time I turned a corner,
And mix with more friends and not be a loner.
Grow with confidence push myself harder,
Nourish my body with trips to the larder.
Walk with my dog who I call Dora,
She's a French bull dog your gonna adore her.
Fill my day with plenty of action,
It's a great motivator and a helpful distraction.
Feel better in myself and people would know,
I'm back to reality with a smile and a glow.
Not to forget a past life on pause,
3years of bad trauma the probable cause.
Bringing up the horrors I saw,
The death of my partner who I miss even more.
The mother of our son and a good one at that,
But it's the time missed with him and where his life's at.
We had so much to do,
And places to see,
Grow old together and cuddle with me.
So hard to forget and realise its no more ,
I love you so much and that love will just grow.
It's very strange by yourself,
In a home that meant so much,
My nights are weird I make no sense,
I'm speaking double Dutch.
What I mean ,I just can't tell,
if only my head was clear
I keep most problems too myself
It's a problem I do fear.
No wonder I feel so let down,
I thought I would cope well,
I really thought we would get through,
For my love to ring that Bell.
Today was the day my partner would go,
Through the tunnel of light and her pain was no more,
My pain begins the end I don't know,
Today is no different the pain seems to grow,
I had the misery to watch her decline,
A tumour malignant but why not benign,
To witness my partner suffer like this,
Her last days she slept,
For me it was bliss,
Throughout her long illness we had to many scares,
From moments of collapsing or soiling her wears,
Problems with treatments,
Bad news from her scans,
Cathata keep blocking on the leg where it hangs,
Eight hours in chemo,
No fun on your own,
We were in a pandemic,
I'm forced to stay home,
Then to return after such a long day,
Hoping the treatment kept cancer at bay,
My partner stayed strong,
She put up a good fight,
To be free of the cancer ,
She must head for the light.
In time life should be improving,
And it's nothing but confusing,
Odd days you fair so well,
Today's a day from hell,
It starts as you wake up,
Within a moment you blow up,
A simple task you've done each day,
Becomes a problem it's just the way,
A cup of coffee you spill the lot,
The temper starts you've lost the plot,
At your peril your walking around,
Without your slippers touching ground,
Next that is unknown to you,
A hard,sharp object coming into view,
On normal days it would be seen,
Not on a day that's been so mean,
You step on hard the pain is instant,
You shout out insults it's persistent,
There's no-one to calm you down,
If there was they'd see you frown,
But as you sit and nurse your wound,
You breath a sigh and then come round,
It has been a day full of drama,
But ends so tranquil and much calmer.
I dread that day the 5th of May,
my loving partner passed away,
I find it hard that she has gone,
undeserved her death was wrong,
At 42 a life cut short,
I'de double that is what I thought,
She should have reached a ripe old age,
In her book i'de miss that page,
And add it to her younger days when life was dancing on the stage,
So why did she not have a say,
On when she'd reach her final day,
What made my lovers death so sad,
Was the cervical cancer that she had,
All you ladies take your smear,
Just missing one could cost you dear,
You lose the battle,
You lose what's you,
And your dignity,
You lose that too.
My partner and I were never prepared,
for what the specialist doctor said,
We hoped the chemo worked but dread,
to tell you that the cancer spread,
Our palative nurse tried to dull the pain,
But time after time it was bad news again,
I just had enough of the pain being raw,
My impulse was to punch the sitting room door,
I needed some space to digest the bad news,
My love of my life I was soon to lose,
How do you deal with such a dialema,
Love will grow strong even when not together.
What is my purpose,
What is my dream,
Is life meant to hurt us,
Why is my life so mean.
Life is a test,
Life is a mission,
Life has no rest,
When you've lost your ambition.
Life is 10yrs in a HMP prison,
Life is to long when a loved one is missing,
Life can have hurt,
Life can be pain,
Life ain't a cert,
Life is to blame,
My life is on hold,
My life is on ice,
My life so I'm told,
Is a roll of a dice.
Life can be fixed,
Turn your fortunes around,
You've lost your true love,
Happy memories you've found.
I'm looking forward to have my shave,
It's not the thought of being brave,
I just feel the urge to do some good,
And hopefully help to lift my mood,
Macmillan helped through times of need,
My stories there for all to read,
They understand they help you cope,
With your life that's hit a slope ,
Macmillan nurses stay with you through the toughest times that's true,
But a charity comes with cost,
Without donations it will be lost.
What come over me today,
Really low is all I'll say,
Waking up late wrong side of bed,
That's all rubbish as it's all in my head.
It all leads back to that awful day,
My loving partner passing away,
The hurt the pain the going insane ,
It's all the mixed thoughts going on in my brain,
I've become a loner and socialising has gone,
Not mixing with others,
I'm now with no one.
I am lost I am lonely I am hurt to the core,
My life was fantastic but now that's no more,
I've been left with a hole that no one can fill,
No woman has it all like lost love will,
I feel I've been punished,
I feel life is so wrong,
A sentence of bereavement is a punishment to strong,
I may come out stronger and deal with the pain,
But one thing for sure I can't go through this again.
I don't expect my life to be,
the same as before that's for all to see,
But I need to move on and cope with my loss,
The loss of my loved one the family boss,
Contracts and bills agreements and accounts,
I need to change names and reckon up amounts,
So many hurdles, phone calls and texts,
Ticking lifes job list ,
What will come next,
My son lost his mother That's something I'm not,
I will devote all my everything and become the job lot,
So life we move forward,
A new chapter we make,
Memories will stay with us which no one can take.
I still havnt found that door I should open,
The door to a future and mends what is broken,
A gateway to happiness,
A land full of dreams,
To walk through this door is everything it seems,
A passage to remember,
And not to forget,
Scarred by the trauma,
Good memories I protect,
Life is not easy,
I've seen it's cruel side,
I need to step up,
And have a bit pride,
Stand up like I mean it,
And walk through this door,
Late partner in hand,
My confidence will grow.