Best Bates Poems
Her name was Brenda Bates, a novelist
bewitched from burrowing inside her book
of fiction 'bout a boatman, Bo Barist,
the character who botched her life...betook
control of him believing he was true.
Becharmed, beguiled, she wanted this bold man,
who she had brought to life as best she knew,
and bonded with her plot as life's big plan.
And Brenda shared in Bo's biography
of how he boated seven broad, blue seas,
to one day bring her from catastrophe
and bail her from bad pirates' abductees.
She lived with her brave boatman in a book;
berserk, bewildered...balanced life, forsook.
Sandra M. Haight
~1st Place~
Contest 620, With Alliteration Style
Sponsor: Brian Strand
Judged: 07/03/2019
~3rd Place~
Contest: Brenda
Sponsor: Julia Ward
Form: Sonnet with Alliteration
Judged: 10/11/2016
Rules for Former Contest:
Write a poem about a woman called Brenda who has just written a book of fiction, how it has absorbed her, and how she wishes the main male character, a boatman, were real and in HER life. Use alliteration with several Bs during the course of the free verse or rhyming poem of no more than 20 lines.
Norman Bates Tells His Story
By Elton Camp
Nobody seems to care about the fix I’m in,
So it’s time the true story of my life to spin.
I’ve had no father ever since I was a little child.
Reared by a mother who’d drive anyone wild.
“You have to do anything I tell you to.
Any disobedience you will come to rue.”
She said it would bring a life of strife
If I ever dated or dared to take a wife
“A boy’s mother is his only true friend.
If you forget that, my life you will end.”
And so since didn’t want her to be gone
I obeyed her and grew up so much alone.
By her rules for me, she didn’t abide.
And then a second marriage she tried.
Her new mate made my life a living hell.
And then he spent her money on a motel.
“Norman will do all the work,” he said.
“Clean room showers and make the bed.”
The motel made bushels of money at first.
Then what happened was about the worst.
A highway was built to by-pass the town.
Then only a few travelers did come around.
The lack of customers made him get mean.
“Lazy Norman doesn’t keep the rooms clean.”
My Mother backed up his talk so tough
Until I finally had heard quite enough.
I decided what it was I had to do
Quickly, quietly I did kill those two.
But afterward, I felt much like a louse
And pretended she was still in the house.
I found that it made me feel better,
When I imitate her voice to the letter.
When a pretty girl took a room for the night,
I found that put me in a state of pure delight.
If she gave any encouragement to me,
The face of my mother I began to see.
“Norman! That girl is just a whore.
Why did you let her come in the door?”
My mother’s words I just had to obey.
To remain alive I couldn’t let her stay.
Nobody will know she was ever here
I dump her into the swamp so near.
I did that very way, time after time
Till it didn’t seem much like a crime.
The day finally came. Luck ran out.
The sheriff took me in with a shout.
“Norman, I’ve learned about your sin.
Now be prepared, prison time to begin.”
The psychiatrist found out it wasn’t me.
But that Mother did the murders, you see.
While I was wearing a wig and a dress,
To those horrors my Mother did confess.
Halloween at the Bates Hotel
The attendant in the Ghostface rig was kinda creepy,
When I came in to pay the gas I owed.
“Is there a motel nearby? I’m really sleepy.”
He pointed down a dark and dreary road.
No kids were Trick-or-Treating that Halloween night,
Nothing was open. I couldn’t buy nor sell.
I could barely see. There wasn’t a single light.
Then I saw the sign for the Bates Hotel
The clerk in drag, carrying a dripping blade,
Said they had a sudden opening;
But first he had to get the room remade.
“Why don’t you stroll outside, see what’s happening.”
Some spaced-out dwarves were shuffling ‘round the mortuary,
While a Tall Man looked down from up above.
Nearby a big dude in a goalie mask was swinging a machete,
Taunting a burned guy wearing a freaky glove.
Another dude was gardening, cutting something at night,
Sporting a leather mask and a gas chainsaw.
But a walking-talking Good Guy doll gave me the biggest fright--
He was probably the weirdest thing I saw.
I decided to head back; this town gave me the ‘willies’.
A big shape and a clown grabbed me outside the Bates Hotel!
“I’m Mike Myers, and my friend’s name’s Penny.
We’ve come to convey you back to Hell.”
By Elton Camp
Nobody seems to care about the fix I’m in,
So it’s time the true story of my life to spin.
I’ve had no father ever since I was a little child.
Reared by a mother who’d drive anyone wild.
“You have to do anything I tell you to.
Any disobedience you will come to rue.”
She said it would bring a life of strife
If I ever dated or dared to take a wife
“A boy’s mother is his only true friend.
If you forget that, my life you will end.”
I didn’t want her to be gone
So I grew up very much alone.
By her rules for me, she didn’t abide.
And then a second marriage she tried.
He made my life a living hell.
Spent her money on a motel.
“Norman will do all the work,” he said.
“Clean room showers and make the bed.”
The motel made bushels of money at first.
Then what happened was about the worst.
A highway was built to by-pass the town.
Then only a few travelers did come around.
The lack of customers made him get mean.
“Lazy Norman doesn’t keep the rooms clean.”
Mother backed up his talk so tough
Until I finally had heard quite enough.
I decided what it was I had to do
Quickly, quietly I did kill those two.
But afterward, I felt much like a louse
And pretended she was still in the house.
I found that it made me feel better,
When I imitate her voice to the letter.
When a pretty girl took a room for the night,
I found that put me in a state of pure delight.
If she gave any encouragement to me,
The face of my mother I began to see.
“Norman! That girl is just a whore.
Why did you let her come in the door?”
My mother’s words I just had to obey.
To remain alive I couldn’t let her stay.
Nobody will know she was ever here
I dump her into the swamp so near.
I did that very way, time after time
Till it didn’t seem much like a crime.
The day finally came. Luck ran out.
The sheriff took me in with a shout.
“Norman, I’ve learned about your sin.
Now be prepared, prison time to begin.”
The psychiatrist found out it wasn’t me.
But that Mother did the murders you see.
While I was dressed in a wig and dress,
To those horrors my mother did confess.
Halloween is very near,
Stealing is what brought me here,
Where I'm going I can't say,
I just had to get away.
Driving in the pouring rain,
Those that do, must be insane,
Looking for a hideaway,
To spend my holiday.
I've been good, but not that great,
Candy makes me put on weight,
Pumpkin pie and room for dates,
But Norman, don’t be Bates.
Shower time defeats the gloom,
Norman gets to pick the room,
Dreamers dream, of what is not,
But water, please be hot.
Suddenly, as in a flash,
I resemble corn beef hash,
As I fall, the music dies,
Just before, my spirit flies.
Now my shower scene is through,
For my head and shoulders too,
Halloween is for my mates,
But Norman, don’t be Bates.
Though my crime was unconfessed,
Norman likes me for a guest,
Double wrongs, don't make a right,
Don't forget the light.
Though my life is not to be,
Murder loves a mystery,
Who was killed, and who was cuffed,
When Norman's mom was stuffed.
If you like to trick or treat,
Bate's Motel is on your street,
Monsters loom where Heaven waits,
But Norman, don't be Bates.
Norman Bates, it seems to me,
You made shower history,
Mother made you do the crime,
Nice of you, to do the time.
You exist, in memory,
Mother keeps you company,
Don't forget, the love she gave,
Each time, you rob, her grave.
Meditate, for inner peace,
When you kill, upon release,
We exist, in altered states,
But Norman, don't be Bates.