Bernards Poems


Premium Membertabby in winter

Tabby in winter, with a tuft of snow on your head
You got slammed when they came down on that sled
If you get buried, it may be quite a little while
Before we can save you, St Bernard said with a smile

Then he noticed that there were Bernards on her scarf
How bad could she be? He told his friends with an arf.
Tabby in the snow glared at all of those happy dogs.
They ate up her chocolate kibble like untrained old hogs.
Categories: bernards, 3rd grade, 4th grade,
Form: Rhyme

Premium Membertabby in winter

Tabby in winter, with a tuft of snow on your head
You got slammed when they came down on that sled
If you get buried, it may be quite a little while
Before we can save you, St Bernard said with a smile

Then he noticed that there were Bernards on her scarf
How bad could she be? He told his friends with an arf.
Tabby in the snow glared at all of those happy dogs.
They ate up her chocolate kibble like untrained old hogs.
Categories: bernards, 3rd grade, 4th grade,
Form: Rhyme


A Dog

I claimed ---and passionately---
that I'd never have a small dog, 
much less one with "poo" in its name.
Not for me yappy Yorkies, shivering Chihuahuas,
shaky Shih Tzus, or terrible terriers.
Give me a wolfhound, a Dane, a mastiff,
a dog with paws like saucers, 
a bark like thunder, and a tail like a whip, 
(Christmas tree be damned!)
I prefer drooling retrievers, dignified shepherds.
hard-working setters, lumbering Bernards. 

With this firmly in mind, 
I went puppy shopping today.

Meet my Maltipoo.
Cujo.
(I haven't lost my mind completely.)
Categories: bernards, animal, dog, humor,
Form: Prose Poetry

Premium MemberHard To Choose Just One

The wackiest birthday gift. Let me think. Let me see.
Was it the dinosaur bone or the fake monkey’s knee?
It is possibly the canned antelope tongue I got last November,
Then again, what about the blue hyena’s eye that arrived in December?

The caged fluffy St. Bernards were truthfully a giant surprise.
And then there was the time they boxed up a Las Vegas sunrise.
My six daughters are full of terrific ideas, you see.
They were raised crazy and goofy, not at all unlike me.

Alice was talking to me yesterday on my pink Princess phone.
She said, I think the wackiest was the hand-painted Irish trombone.
Then Betty called. “What about the circus elephant? He was fun!
The best part of that gift, was that he made your snooty neighbor run.”

The lacy red forty-six double D bra I got from my Aunt Smuggly Tall?
I was eleven years old, flat as an ironing board, and had no chest at all.
I think my wackiest gift was a green-eyed Cheshire Cat with a twitch.
Lively, and fast, she comes alive in the night, turning on her own switch.
Categories: bernards, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Rhyme
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