The first three boring innings ended scoreless.
Then, in the fourth I took a walk to first.
She was managing her business in the dugout.
I was ready when a double’s gusher burst.
I beat the throw to home and scored an easy run.
She liked the way I took the bases fast.
When she called me her penultimate slugger,
I’d no idea that meant the next to last.
Although my stats were solid and consistent,
I wasn’t the right cog for her machine.
I was traded for the sake of sabermetrics,
In the wake of her affair with Billy Beane.
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