Zummm

I miss it. 
I miss waking up energized. 
And next to my wife, everyday. 
I miss my son coming home with criticisms on how bureaucratic work is. 
I miss not worrying about my wife. 
I miss her two boys coming home from work 
Quiet, kind, and making my chest swell with pride.
I miss sleeping in my bed everyday. 
I miss the dogs waking me up and not letting me oversleep 
Even on Saturday. 
I miss the illusion of knowing what's going to happen next. 
I miss having a completed to-do list. 

But, I’ll tell you what I don't miss:
I don't miss the terror of walking away 
Unknowing if that was my last goodbye.
I don't miss being lonely-- not just sometimes, but always. 
I don't miss moving through the days like a zombie. 
I don't miss betrayal. 
I don't miss being the target of existential anger
Both mine and others'.
I don't miss being hopeless. 
I don't miss being unsure of myself,
Scared of what other people think of me. 
I don't miss wondering if anybody will ever accept me for what I am.
I don't miss not knowing kindness and love on a daily basis.
I don't miss running out of money at the grocery store. 
I don't miss being lied about.

Life's exhausting, yet
I just need survive long enough to 
Joy. 
Because I'm not where I was, 
I miss my past
And I don't.
Today's not my worst day, 
Nor my best. 
And I…
I'm just tired.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Be the first to comment on this poem. Encourage this poet.

Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace