You Just Don'T Know

Attempting to act okay, But my doubts and fears keep me awake. Is it too much to want to feel worth? Maybe concidering I've been fighting battles in my head since one year after birth. I lay awake when times get rough, How long it will take to feel ok I can never be sure of. When I was one I had been held down, He had me pinned upon the ground. If he was done I wasn't sure, Until he left the room and closed the door. Six years until they found out. Six years old and I've never felt so ashamed, my heart felt cold. I will never forget and that's a fact, Six childhood years that I'll never get back. I have come a long way without holding back, The only problems I ever had was blaming myself. I feel so much hatred, for myself even today. I feel as my life has just drifted away. I have so much love for everyone around me, But I just want to love myself, That's what could never be. I have had my fun times despite my past. But you know what they say, nothing ever lasts. You might call me winy, and say I'm complaining. But try to see my pain, in your head make a virtual painting. I'm so stressed, so torn and depressed. I feel all alone, No one understands this mess. I hope if your reading this it'll make you think twice, About what could be going on in someone else's life. We all have problems even though it doesnt always show, Be careful who you judge because You Just Don't Know!