Jai Payton Poet Free verse

You Are Not Love

I have always had to ask what being in love feels like 
 it is usually described by the way the other gets a sparkle in their eye 
 or the dances in the living room.
 I have never had this type of love 
 my love was always toxic 
 like swimming with rocks in your pocket . 
 I have never known true love  
 my idea of love was toleration the bad moods
 unanswered prayers for a good one. 
what we had was not love it was a war
 and the bedroom was a battlefield 
 where all our wars took place ,
 where we tried to hide the pain but it was stained in the walls , 
 the yells echoed and the tears left water marks on the celling 
 we did not have love
 we had the fear of being alone

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