Working Woes

To whom it may never concern: NOTICE re: Regarding this notice "Please disregard this notice" MEMO re: Ignored memos "Please ignore this memo" SIGN POSTED: Please do not read this sign Any employee who reads this sign will be subject to immediate disciplinary inaction and/or non-determination LETTER TO APPLICANT "Our insincere no thanks for your disinterest in our company The position you didn't apply for has previously been unfilled Therefore upon not reviewing your application we have decided not to review your application" REPLY TO ROBERTA'S HARASSMENT COMPLAINT Dear Bob: Your complaint is unimportant to us so please hold and one of our agents will not contact you shortly. For insecurity purposes this complaint may or may not be recorded. We're not sorry, but your complaint cannot be uncompleted as dialed. Please hang up and ABSOLUTELY don't try this little trick again We pride ourselves on being an equal opportunity employer. Our male employees are required to follow extremely unstringent guidelines. With no exceptions EVERYONE is equally harassed constantly. This policy is strictly not enforced on a god-only-knows-when basis. Please don't feel free not to contact us any time. Our ears are always stopped up