Gary Radice Poet Narrative

Notes About The Poem

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Originally published: 18th October 2020

Image: gR

This poem was placed 1st in the "COMPLETELY YOUR CHOICE (29) ANY FORM ANY CHOICE" contest sponsored by Brian Strand (Judged 18th November 2020)

With my thanks and apologies to Lewis Carroll and Geoffrey Chaucer.

 

 

 

 

THE WONDERLAND SERIES

I:     Prologue
II:    The Hatter's Tale
III:   The Watchmaker's Tale
IV:   The Hairdresser's Tale
V:    The Chef's Tale
VI:   The Sailor's Tale
VII:  The Preacher's Tale
VIII: Conclusion

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Wonderland VI: The Sailor's Tale

Morning

The doctor called the next man in 
And offered him a chair
Observing him in silence 
As he wrestled with despair.

A minute passed before they spoke 
And when he raised his head
With tearful eyes he whispered that 
He wished that he was dead.

"Those tides wave back and beckon me 
When I walk along the sand.
I gave up life at sea and now 
I’m all at sea on land.

I used to be a real man 
And was never mocked before.
I hide each day inside my shell.
With no 'porpoise' anymore.

Rules of logic don’t exist
In the world I live in now.
I really want to help myself 
But sadly don’t know how.

I planned to study back at school 
But admit I didn’t go.
Schools of whales and schools of fish 
Are the only schools I know."

The doctor was the best in town 
And knew her patient well.
She agreed to medication 
And support throughout his hell.

She also gazed towards the stars 
To muster up some hope
And helped him try to help himself 
In ways that he might cope.


Noon

The man returned to clinic 
Sounding cheerful as he said:
“Thank you I'm much better 
You have helped me clear my head!

Your input worked! I’m feeling well! 
I'm off to sea tonight!”
The doctor sat back in her chair
As things did not feel right..


Night

He watched the lobsters from the sea 
Dance on the croquet green
Then came around in hospital 
From what felt like a dream.


Later That Night

Half-awake and half asleep 
With the doctor near his side
He learnt he’d tried to end it all 
And very nearly died.

"A nurse agreed to follow you
And then pulled you from the sea.
He was acting on instructions 
From a plan set down by me.

Your cheeriness was rooted 
In your plans to take your life; 
I sensed this during clinic
As your doctor - and ex-wife."

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John Watt July 23, 2022 at 4:35 PM Gary, another dark scenario, yet I see from your comments that this was written sympathetically towards the plight of the depressed and suicidal. Another brilliant twist ending! I can see the parallels with the mock turtle: long silences, the tear-filled eyes, the dancing lobsters, the sad tale of life. And the puns: never mocked, inside my shell, no porpoise, schools of fish, and my favorite one - "I'm all at sea on land". Loving this series - just brilliant, my friend. Cheers ~ John Gary Radice July 23, 2022 at 9:55 PM 2 /2 In the Canterbury Tales the Physician was clever, flaunted his wealth and seemed 'full of himself' I gave the Physician / GP more empathy here and flipped the GP's gender so as to fit in with the idea she was his ex wife. In both the original text and in mine both looked to the stars for answers. Cheers - Gary Gary Radice July 23, 2022 at 9:52 PM 1 / 2 John, thank you for your comments and for still sticking with the series. :) This tale is my own personal favourite but the least read. Yes, all that you have said about the mock turtle. :) He was sad because he wanted to be a real turtle. In my tale the sailor felt he wasn't a real man for having left the sea. I had him drink 'real' ale too in my Prologue and - again in my Prologue note he was being followed.. "So the sailor (being followed)" ..It was the nurse following him as requested by the doctor (his ex wife). In Carroll's original text I liked the Mock Turtle's pun on the word 'porpoise' so I referred to it here in my poem. I'll add that I also liked that part of Carroll's original text (but not included here) when the mock turtle called his teacher - who was a turtle - a tortoise because he 'taught us' :) Cheers - Gary

Sara Kendrick December 19, 2020 at 3:30 AM Well, I hope not based on your life(because of the suicide attempt) but on someone you knew maybe. Anyway I like the humor(somewhat humor) in the end. Very creative and compelling work. Sara Gary Radice December 19, 2020 at 4:56 AM Thanks Sara once more for your valued comments. I really do appreciate them.. The suicide ideation isn't based on my life but, sadly, based on several people from my nursing days. I have been in a position(s) where patients have been on the edge of suicide but thankfully didn't carry things through due to teamwork. Cheers - Gary

Beryl Edmonds November 20, 2020 at 2:53 PM An absolutely brilliant write, Gary captured my interest from the start... Belle Gary Radice November 22, 2020 at 1:30 PM Thanks Belle! I really appreciate all your comments on the series. Cheers - Gary

Christopher Flaherty November 10, 2020 at 2:39 PM Gary Radice " Davey Jones " Instant Favorite 10 out of 7 Different Class 1st is an injustice The Only 1 He wished that he we're dead Planned to study But school of whales and fish Were the only school he knew Christopher Flaherty November 12, 2020 at 3:32 PM My absolute pleasure and yes i did. That is hard and very complicated mash up you are obviously well read Gary Gary Radice November 11, 2020 at 3:12 AM Hi Christopher! Thanks so much for your comments. I attempted to mash up The Mock Turtle (Alice) with a smidgen of The Physician (Canterbury Tales) whilst tackling the serious subject of depression. Really glad you enjoyed it. Cheers - Gary

Linda Alice Fowler October 25, 2020 at 6:36 AM Your Wonderland poems are brilliant Gary. I've enjoyed reading the lot! :) Linda Gary Radice October 25, 2020 at 9:43 AM I'd like to thank you and salute your powers of endurance reading the lot Linda :) I appreciate it very much. It makes this hobby of writing poetry all the more worthwhile. Cheers - Gary

Eve Roper October 20, 2020 at 8:31 PM Depression did not stop with the cure. Thank goodness the doctor sent the nurse to watch him. Enjoyed the story. Hugs Eve Gary Radice October 21, 2020 at 12:47 AM Thanks Eve - I truly appreciate your comments. You're right - depression didnt stop with the quick attempt to cure. There's no quick cure. There were a couple of instances in my nursing career whereby a patient suddenly became overtly happy after being deeply sad just a short time before. It transpired that they had become happy as they had decided to end it all. The medication (which can take weeks to work) complimented by talking therapies is the best way forward in my opinion. Cheers - Gary

Sam Kauffman October 20, 2020 at 8:59 AM I have witnessed the inertia of depression rob people of the vitality of life - they seem to drown every day. Your flowing, lyrical lines tell this story so well, Gary and alert all of us to the signs of depression. Congratulations. Well done. Gary Radice October 20, 2020 at 3:33 PM 2) I forgot to add Sam, that the idea for the poem was primarily to base the sailor (very loosely) on The Mock Turtle from 'Alice in Wonderland' without making light of the theme of depression. Gary Radice October 20, 2020 at 9:50 AM 1) Thank you for your valued comments Sam. I'm happy if this poem helps educate. You are so right about 'drowning' every day without the right help. Depression involves loss. Loss of role. Loss of relationship etc. There is great help out there but not all people can or do access it. I would like to see more education around the subject of mental illness in schools particularly. Thanks again.

Julius Machiri October 18, 2020 at 3:06 PM This is great I enjoyed the rhymes and the flow and the end is superb . Gary Radice October 18, 2020 at 3:18 PM Hi Julius! Thank you for stopping by and reading. It probably still needs a little work round the edges but I achieved what I set out to write, so I'm grateful for the thumbs up. Cheers - Gary