Winter in my blood
Lord,
make it winter in my blood,
let frost learn all my hidden names,
break every road I ever loved,
put snow on memories and flames.
Lord,
let winter take my fall.
bury autumn leaf by leaf.
scrape my name from every wall.
leave no echo of my grief.
let silence press into my chest,
let every pulse grow numb and slow.
give grief that will not be confessed,
give pain that only shadows know.
God,
take love that had no root,
love that withered in the night,
love that failed to bear its fruit
while I blessed what could not fight.
stack sadness high, stack shadowed scars,
stack every absence, every lost.
let nights remember who we are,
and pay the weight of all the cost.
walk with me where the world decays,
where last lights tremble into dust.
God,
let winter bind my days,
and leave no trace of human trust.
and Father,
stay when speech is torn apart,
when even grief has lost its sound,
when prayer is only blood and heart,
knocking once, then tumbling down.
do not save me, do not mend.
do not lift me from the snow.
only be there at the end
when nothing left remains to know.
let the body learn its end,
how to fade without a scream,
how every bruise will not amend,
how the wound outlives the dream.
God,
I am the house that burned,
after everyone went home,
I am what the smoke has learned:
how to say but not to own.
leave me in the hollowed white,
where no hand can reach or stay,
where the silence has the right
to fold the day into decay.
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