Winston

It’s too late to shatter the cold distance of silence with a ‘sorry’, For I stand full of regrets ever since you became the elements, Just one moment in time, that is all I need; that we breathe together, And in that blessed precious beat of time – I would build bridges and ladders across the worlds that part us, I would blast the cavernous gloom of estrangement that swallowed our love, And once again bring the basin of hot water to wash your feet, While I listen to your endless repetitive stories of how you fought in the war, And massage your back, and tuck you in bed and serve you tea come morning, And choose to obey and understand your weaknesses, For they were not really yours but mine in the making, How I wish you were in this e-world of an i-age, To show you those western movies that you were crazy for – And download collections of Chase and L’amour and Wallace and Sheldon And travel, and laugh, and pray, and eat, And be your friend and not a judge on failure, For the ravages of lack was a choice you took, To be with her – Yet I was not with you! If I had brightened as light we would have not become dancing shadows, I never cried over the casket that shelled you, Today these tears welled up from a heart that is decades deep, Wanting, Longing, Aching, Hurting, and Reaching. Then those eyes came in my heart like a soft comfort - Promising that somewhere in this vast expansion and harmony of spheres, Forgiveness has come to teach me to forgive myself – For - You are love, you are scent, you are song, you are stillness, and you are Dad, Your star tells me it’s never too late and to teach your grandchildren to love me. Winston, you waged a good war in my heart and you have won!