David Meade Poet Free verse

Notes About The Poem

I posted this poem back in 2015 but wanted to re-post it after hearing about the the California megachurch pastor committing suicide last week after a long battle with mental illness.   Jim Howard was a pastor of the Valencia campus of the 7,000-member Real Life Church.

Depression is a battle!!

The original post:

Andrew Wyeth spent most of his career doing watercolor painting of windows -- looking out windows and looking in windows . . .  very creative.  I have written a poem on one of his works entitled:  Wind From The Sea (below is the picture) this is my imagination and does not reflect Mr. Wyeth thoughts about his work.  I was hesitant to post this poem but was encouraged by a fellow souper, Eileen Manassian -- thank-you Little One.  Your words mean a lot to me!!

https://www.poetrysoup.com/images/bio_images/DavidMeade59001/photos/ps_Wyeth_Pic-7067.jpg

 

 

 

Wind From the Sea -- Re-Post

Inspired by Andrew Wyeth Watercolor Painting -- Wind From the Sea, 1947




Standing in the old house
A strange mixture of feelings erupt within me
My roommates Depression, Loneliness, and Hopelessness
Greet me with strangling arms and leering grins
I don’t fight them anymore – somehow they are a part me
So together, in this house, in this room
We endure the somber solitude of the day

A sudden chill fills the room
Death enters – its foul breath chokes me
My three companions prostrate themselves
Pressure builds in my bowels
Bile rises in my throat
A heavy weariness fills my bones
He’s calling – hissing my name
I can’t breath

Death surrounds my soul – crushing me 
I hear groaning  . . .
Strange guttural sound -- it’s coming from me
Deep painful darkness fills me
I beg Death to take me . . .

Through the open window
A gush of wind enters
A sheer curtain hanging comes to life
It’s spirit lifts inwards and up beckoning me to dance 

What is this wonder?
A limp ragged curtain – faded, stained, frail -- has life
Reaching toward me . . .  frayed fingers of thread motioning
Old friends rush to me – Joy, Hope, Love
Death’s grip slips – I gasp a breath
Looking up I see the open window
Boarded by old bare wood, hard with age

I realize it’s daylight now – soft shadows 
A curving road leading to the water
I can taste the saltiness in the wind
Trees in the distance
A calling from the sea
Seagulls, waves, laughter

Joy breaths into my nostrils 
Leave this place – Depression cannot hold you
Simple pleasures I will give you
   Cool breeze on a summer afternoon
   Laughter of friends
   A walk in the garden
   A book
   The Sea . . . 

Depression laughs in my ears
Through that window lies heartache, treachery, poverty, misery
It will chew your insides up – blood will pour from your lips
Pain and suffering awaits if you leave this house
Death waits to take you home 
An end to this constant noise – the peace of total emptiness 

Another breeze and Hope fills my eyes with light
I see colors – vibrant alive filling me with warmth
Leave this place, take a journey to the sea
Let light fill you and be your guide . . . see -- opportunities abound
For laughter, love, forgiveness . . . for life – abundant life
See the rainbow upon the Sea

Hopelessness rushes toward me
Kisses my lips and whispers
Light burns and blinds
Enslaves you
They will see clearly your secrets
Spotlight focus – ridicule scorn . . . ugly disgust . . .  self-hatred

Love rushes in and embraces me
Light, fresh, empowering
My heart leaps with pleasure
Arm and arm she leads me to the window
Much pain and sorrow – yes . . .  also Love
A powerful love that transforms, refreshes . . . frees
Breathe deeply of the Sea air – fill your lungs
Go – you are loved deeply and completely

Looking out Looking in




David Meade
01/07/2015


Live Generously
Copyright © David Meade | Year Posted 2015

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Jan Allison October 3, 2020 at 4:59 PM as powerful a poem as I have ever read - i recall when you first posted it saying it should have been poem of the year, perhaps knowing how many are struggling with life during covid it should now poem of the decade, hope you will be back with us again soon David:-) hugs jan xx David Meade October 4, 2020 at 11:20 AM Ms. Jan, thank-you for your wonderful kind words. Isolation can be such a debilitating situation. Your word-hug was pure joy to my soul!

Connie Marcum Wong May 19, 2020 at 12:33 PM Many are not able to understand the depths of despair when grasped by depression’s long fingers. How darkness fills the soul with such melancholy one cannot leave their bed, though family and friends Think they are helping you by saying “snap out of it “. Your poem is a wonderful expression of this kind of depression. Excellent my friend! Love reigns! xxoo David Meade October 4, 2020 at 11:21 AM Sorry for my late response -- but I agree, Love Reigns Supreme!

Regina Mcintosh September 17, 2019 at 2:04 AM This is such a vivid portrait and so often felt by many - it should touch hearts and souls with it's truth. I trust in the Lord to lead me away from despair, but your poem is truly enchanting and love (especially GOD, who is Love, love) will take you back to joy and enchantment. God bless you - You're so talented. I'll fave your poem David Meade October 4, 2020 at 11:24 AM Thank-you Regina, I hope you are well. No matter where you are -- the highest mountain or the lowest valley God's Love finds you! All the best and be safe!

Andrea Dietrich September 15, 2019 at 7:20 PM Normally I recall you for your haiku but this longer poetry of yours is divine, David. I do not believe a person will penalized severely for committing suicide. There is only so much that some people can take. I like the point of view you used here. David Meade September 16, 2019 at 9:54 AM Thank-you my dear friend . . . I do love the haiku, the simple structure and nature speak to my heart. Depression and suicide are strong foes that assault all of us in varying degrees . . . my hope, my prayer . . . we remain strong together, that we have open dialog and we encourage each other in our journey. I believe poetry is one way to explore these issues. Your kind words -- for I know you value your words -- made me smile from the inside out!! All the best -- live and love generously!