Why I'M Still Single
I think I've been left with the best of the rest,
The vague and the odd and the strange,
I can't make the effort to now look my best,
As I'm scared I'll attract the deranged.
There's the ones who just cry, the slushy, the weak,
and the ones who just use and discard,
Some can be kinky, or flaky, a freak,
and there's those who get off in the yard,
the usual ones just get right on my nerve,
and then there's the marry me now.
It seems I can always attract the reserve.
Or the ones who just want a cash-cow.
If you ask why I'm single the answer is clear,
I'm a magnet for all the crazy,
I'll get the ones on the drugs or the beer,
Or there sure to be fat and lazy.
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