Why I Am How I Am

crying out in the night pain rips through my body my memories flash back to the day he said the words the ones that ripped my heart in two i sat outside the door as she told him the lies about our love tears rolled down his face i saw him shake with agony she walked out and looked me in the eye dared to give me a fake look of regret i walked in and he refused my hug i could tell that he believed every word the look he gave was almost of hate he grimaced and said he knew everything i denied nothing; it was no use tuning out i felt as if in a dream i can't remember how, only that he did it ended it and walked out the door tears running he never looked back to see the tears i had and to see me face people downstairs, that were there for me i had to act happy for it was my birthday she dared look me in the eye and smile gave me a hug and said she was there 8 months later and still so raw as i look at the picture and the ring he gave he will always be my first true love