Why

Seeing him from a distance, Does he know I exist Does he care I thought he did How could I be so fooled Am I too selfish to see His cruel ways The way he uses Hurts and deceives Maybe I deserve Maybe I should suffer The wanting is hard The loneliness unbearable Why do I still look for him Want him Feel the need for him Sad when I don't see him Smile when I think of him Excited ,anxious Nervous when I look his way Angry when ignored by him Why?