Why

You have the freedom of religion, one of the most popular rights in America. So why from a young age has the lord and savior Jesus Christ been shoved down my throat. Why is it that as an American im not able to decide who I want to believe in until in 18 and even then its frowned upon to be anything but the norm. But how do you expect me to believe in a god that has allowed so much pain and in the world? Well, you see how God doesn't make mistakes. Then how the hell do you explain what I am? I wasn't planned and most of the time nobody seems to want me around to explain that to me. Explain to me how a god who is all good and pure and can see everything would allow my father the ability to bear children knowing he would only be a father to one of his children. Explain to me how a god so great would allow that man to put his hands on me in a way no man should explain to me why he would allow the thoughts inside my head to exist, explain why he would allow me to look into a mirror and hate what I see to hear all the problems my father said was my fault and to feel the mans hands on my body . I Am living in a world where everyone wants me to believe that there is a god and that he is all good and all mighty but in all reality, there are just scared to not understand why there are the way they are.