Whoopee Cushion
I bought my wife a whoopee cushion
It makes a funny noise
Like a night around the camp fire
With me and some of the boys
Now I can't say what sound it makes
But it kinda rhymes with heart
Eat some beans and you'll figure it out
'Cause I know you're just that smart
Now, she doesn't know I bought it
That's mean, but it's just too funny
If you could see the look on her face
You'd know why I spent the money
Everytime she tries to sit down
The dog will point and run
Again, I know that it's mean
I'm sorry, but it's too much fun
One of these days she's gonna catch me
As I squeeze to my delight
That's when I'll be sleeping outside
With the dog, on some cold night
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