Whoopee Cushion

I bought my wife a whoopee cushion It makes a funny noise Like a night around the camp fire With me and some of the boys Now I can't say what sound it makes But it kinda rhymes with heart Eat some beans and you'll figure it out 'Cause I know you're just that smart Now, she doesn't know I bought it That's mean, but it's just too funny If you could see the look on her face You'd know why I spent the money Everytime she tries to sit down The dog will point and run Again, I know that it's mean I'm sorry, but it's too much fun One of these days she's gonna catch me As I squeeze to my delight That's when I'll be sleeping outside With the dog, on some cold night