Who Am I

The lies I tell myself to get through the day, The illusion of control, Graciously ashamed, I love you, I tell you, I need you, I say, My introverted exterior needs it’s ego caressed, Where are we I wonder day after day, Watching the seconds slip away Every choice I make I tell myself is for you, Each one strips another feather front my wings, How long before I can no longer fly away. But I love you, I tell you, Or am I really telling me, Maybe I should let it burn, Deep down I know I would survive the fire, I always do, But I love you, Don’t I ? What even is this I start to wonder, I don’t even know who I am anymore. The illusion falters, Those moments of questioned panic appear, Why am I here, Do you even love me, I’ve been so busy trying to love you, I never stopped to ask, My face hurts from wearing this mask. If I remove my disguise and step from the flames, Allow myself to be whole, Im not sure if anyone would love my soul ? But I love you, I tell you, Your eyes stare back, For a second I freeze, Waiting for the mirror to crack, Looking at myself, Not convinced that’s its me, If only my reflection was free.