Whipped In

He was a professor of difficult sums, Thought in quadratic equations And from the works of Lobachevsky He could spew forth quotations. But, he had a hidden secret, Not a creature of the light, Dressed in Robin Hood suit He prowled through the night. Many a homeward bound drunk Had doubted what he’d seen, This tall, bow bearing figure Dressed in suit of Lincoln Green. But, here’s the little twist To our hero’s unusual story, He robbed the poor to help the rich Like many a card bearing Tory. His nemesis came in the shape of One Detective Constable Brown Whose reactions to his demands Was to quickly Taser him down. He’s a reformed character now for They only gave a year’s probation And lots of Community Service Teaching mathematics to the Nation. And, so, as time quickly passes That’s the way that he becomes Appointed to the House of Lords As the Minister for Difficult Sums, His Criminal Record now regarded As just a small mental aberration. He’s feted, lauded and regarded As a flower of this Great Nation. He follows the whip zealously, But deep down inside he plots To maximise his expenses claims, A leopard seldom changes its spots. Thank heaven he’s in the Lords or It could have been more sinister: We could have had a thief and liar Serving as our new Prime Minister.