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While You Lay Breathing Quietly

-------------------------------------------- Each night, while you lay breathing quietly, I wander like a wraith through empty rooms A phantom in both life and memory, the ghost a long abandoned oath exhumes I hover like a spirit over you each night, while you lay breathing quietly, so desperate to believe what isn't true, I make the best of ambiguity This specter in the mirror isn't me These lines belong on someone elses face Each night, while you lay breathing quietly, it's loneliness that holds me in your place My worth so long defined by your extremes; extolled by love, or birched by perfidy, I find it's just the first that haunts my dreams each night, while you lay breathing quietly -------------------------------------------- Date: Dec 7, 2022 Contest: 2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 22 Sponsor: Mark Toney

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022




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Date: 12/22/2022 6:54:00 PM
Dear Lycia, the dark beauty of your imagery is carried through your verses on a lovely lilting rhythm. An exquisite quatern where the repeated line fits effortlessly and precisely into each stanza. Congratulations for your excellent win in Mark’s contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
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Lycia Harding
Date: 12/23/2022 5:31:00 AM
Thank you, Susan!
Date: 12/15/2022 1:24:00 PM
Deep and dark. I like it! Congrats for your podium placement in the contest ~ John
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Lycia Harding
Date: 12/19/2022 3:51:00 AM
Thank you, John!
Date: 12/15/2022 8:30:00 AM
this is so deep and lovely. Congrats for a top win
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Lycia Harding
Date: 12/19/2022 3:51:00 AM
Thank you, Dre!
Date: 12/14/2022 11:08:00 AM
Lycia, you expertly weave your haunting simile/metaphor throughout each stanza, confirming our suspicions with "My worth so long defined by your extremes ~ extolled by love, or birched by perfidy, I find it's just the first that haunts my dreams ..." Oh my! Brilliant! And I love the iambic pentameter. Congratulations on your second-place podium finish on Mile 22 of my 2022 Poetry Marathon Contest. Keep your running shoes on because Mile 23 has already started.
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Lycia Harding
Date: 12/19/2022 3:53:00 AM
Thank you, Mark! I'm ready to run!