When You Keep Choosing the Sin You Hate- Part 01
O God, I have no excuse.
I knew it was wrong before I did it.
I felt Your warning and ignored it.
I chose my desire over Your holiness,
and now the weight of it crushes me.
My sin is always before me.
It follows me into prayer.
It follows me into worship.
It follows me into my sleep.
I pretend strength before people,
but alone I am weak and ashamed.
I did this with open eyes.
I planned it.
I returned to it.
I promised I would stop,
yet I went back again
like a fool who loves his chains.
Against You, and You alone, have I sinned.
Not because others were not hurt,
but because I knew Your truth
and still chose rebellion.
You were not unclear.
I was simply disobedient.
My hands are dirty, Lord.
I washed them, but the guilt remains.
My eyes are guilty.
They led my body where my heart already wanted to go.
I cannot lift them toward heaven
without remembering what they have seen.
How can I sing to You
when my mouth still tastes of sin?
How can I speak of righteousness
when my life contradicts my words?
If You exposed me as I truly am,
I would have nothing to say.
I fear You, O God.
Not with reverence only,
but with terror,
for I know what I deserve.
If You marked my sins,
who could stand?
Do not take Your Spirit from me.
That is my greatest fear.
Take my pride if You must.
Take my comfort.
Take my reputation.
But do not leave me to myself.
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